Monday, August 16, 2010

What do you think are reasons to get out of a marriage and move on with your life?

Married young for 6 yrs w/one child. Thought that love could conquer all but wondering if I was just foolish.Keep waiting for things to change and keep forgiving when he does me wrong and its always something. Is love really supposed to be such a struggle. How much should you put up with? I am the one always getting hurt and always getting the short end of the stick. Are guys all really this stupid? How long does it really take for a man to grow up and act right and really is that possible? If you really love someone how long should you wait for them to get it right and how many times should they be forgiven and then when do you draw the line and say enough is enough? I dont want to make a mistake by staying in something that is wrong but i also dont want to walk away from the love of my life? Is it possible to be with someone and be in love with them and have them treat you right and is it something that should be automatically there or is it something that requires so much work?What do you think are reasons to get out of a marriage and move on with your life?
this is my honest opinion why i would leave a marriage





1- if he cheated


2- if he hit me


3- if he cannot understand where i'm coming from and we've tried everything including counseling to save.What do you think are reasons to get out of a marriage and move on with your life?
If there is no chance of you ever being happy together with someone than it's best to just get out of the situation. If something isn't good for you, it should just be left alone,plain and simple. You cant stay in an environment where only you are trying to make things better, a marriage includes two people, not one, and if you're doing all you can to make things better and the person is not, than that person is not the one for you.
Everyone deserves to be happy. If you feel unhappy in and out that would be unfair especially if a child is involved. Yes, men are stupid, they disregard feelings and that is a fact. You need to focus on yourself. What makes you happy, and can you take care of yourself and the little one alone? Everthing is possible if you put all your effort into it.
Love does NOT conquer all.





PEOPLE DO.





If you really thought some cloud-9 emotion was going to get you through the thick and thin of life, then you aren't very emotionally mature.





No, it doesn't happen automatically. It IS entirely possible to be with someone who treats you well....but you have to be CAREFUL about who you pick.





Get some marital therapy, dear....and good luck
i dont think it should feel like a job,i asked the same question for awhile but you get to a point where you just know,you feel that its not there.if your to the point where you cant even speak to each other at an adult level then its time to give it up.As long as you know you've done your best thats whats important. your child will be happy regardless as long as they have you.
Don't do it...life gets pretty bad after a divorce...especially for the kids....if he's beating you or cheating on you he isn't giving you a choice but other than that...put up with it until the kids grown...you won't like having to be away from your child if you are like me
no its not ''only you can decide'' God has already decided.


God hates divorce, but He allows it for adultery, because of your hardness of heart but He still hates it.


'unhappiness' is no reason for divorce.
Only you can decide what reasons are good enough to leave.





My best advice is do NOT put off your decision for very long.





Life is way to short waisting you time waiting for a child to grow up.
You don't mention what it is he does that you always have to be forgiving him. You say he hurts you. If that hurting is anything physical. That is reason enough to leave him. Another one is if he cheats.
u can't make someone do something that u want them to do..only u know your breaking point when dealing with relationships..
infedelity, abuse or abandonment
Your vows say for better or worst.hey love don't suppose to hurt either.you will know when enough is enough...Good Luck !
Does you wrong? And that means????





I'd say if it means betrayal, it's over...





Truly I think that marriage is Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust. It it's betrayal, the trust is gone with the passion getting shared..., and the other two are no longer there either... so you don't really have a marriage, you have, perhaps a financial agreement. And why anyone stays, is beyond me.... how does anyone get past the eeeewwwww factor.... And you don't love this guy any longer hon, I got news for you. You love what you THOUGHT he once was, and your IMAGE of him, and they are no longer the same. No one loves a betrayer.... no one....





Marriage is a two way street, hon, and ought to be filled with lovies, and kindnesses, and doing things for each other. And sometimes the best any of us can do is just shut the hell up, even in a loving relationship..





However, if you are staying because of your child in this situation, all that kid will learn is that adults don't mean what they say. And you will be showing that kid that you yourself have no self esteem. If your child is a little girl, she will learn this is what she can expect from a husband... and if your child is a boy, he will learn that women will take anything. (not wonderful, is it??)





Life is short... ya get 80 good ones if you're lucky, and at least 20 of those are growing up, and another 20 are sunk into raising children..... and you opted to have one. So, before you are even free of obligation, you're easily 38. (scary, huh?).





We all think we marry the love of our lives---- few of us marry a jerk in our own eyes. If you have forgiven this guy for adultery many times, all he is learning from you is that you aren't leaving... sad, hon.





Advise:


Get a session or two of counseling to get your head on straight. You appear to write well,---not like the usual illiterate dummies on here---- so get back in school, get a better job, and find someone worthy of your trust. At the end of this I'll type out the 4 things my mom began hammering into my head when I was 13..... these were posted on the inside of my bedroom. And as a result, I had no child I didn't want, got a good education, and married two wonderful men... the first finished raising me, the second was killed after 18 years, and live now with a lovely, wonderful man...





1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.


2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to


3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades鈥? Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever鈥? Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!


4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better





You made a mistake with number one, and number two. Get back on track with number three, hon.


Sent to you with love from my mom

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