When do I move on with my life?

My husband I were just married in May, even had a second cermony in June (one in Jamaica, one here). He had always been a great guy. I am 33, he is 28 and it is both of our first marriage and we have no children. My husband is one of those men that will leave you love notes, cook you dinner, and be your best friend. I am crazy about him.


However, I was having some problems with my birth control and my doc put me on Yaz. I started to become very depressed, anxious, no sex drive, and I never slept. I also became very quick to anger. My husband has a friend who has never liked me (they have been buddies forever and friend never likes my husband's previous girlfriends). I had asked my husband repeatedly to ask the friend to respect me. He told me the friend didn't have to respect me, which made me very resentful, and I on occasion would lose my temper and argue with my husband. Well, about 7 weeks ago my husband went to work one day and never came home.


He now says he wants a divorce (he has purchased internet divorce papers but hasn't served me with them). He was sneaking into my home (he also has a home that he was attempting to sell when we were together) and taking his stuff out. I have since locked the doors so he can't get in. He is set on getting a divorce, but then tells me things about how broke he is and how he is using my girly soap because he can't afford any???


He is angry towards me because he was short selling his home and is now behind in payments because he took it off the market when he left me. We had decided together to live in my home because my mortgage is half of his. He refuses counseling and says that my temper has made him feel differently towards me. I have explained to him that the Yaz made me different. He felt rejected because I never wanted to do things with him. I honestly feel it was a lack of communication. He has not cheated (nor have I), and I know I can't make him want to be with me. I have to also add I have been a text terroist.


I am not sure when to move on.....Most of my girlfriends are married with kids. I have guy friends but I don't want to do anything to disprespect our marriage, but at the same time I am killing myself on the weekends by laying around and crying. I have a good job, great friends, and I am educated.


When do you know to give up hope and move on with your life and when do you hang on to your marriage and hope things turn around?





Thanks for all of your advice.When do I move on with my life?
He has decided he doesn't want to be married and you can't force him, so move on with your life now, just don't get involved with a new bf, just groups of friends so you can get some support and get out and about.When do I move on with my life?
Move on, he sure seemed to. Sounds like he was too immature to get married and he still listens to his little high school friends. Move on, find a man, not a boy. Also tell him, he choose to move out, now stay out and don't steal your sh*t. Tell him you don't want to his sniveling whining about being broke, his choice, now live with it.
get off the yaz what where u doing before for BC ?? i think he thinks he don't need counseling cause hes not done anything wrong seems like you were the one trippin on things cause of the Yaz so you need to make things right with him sounds like u have a great guy romance and all your not married to his friend and its not his place to tell his friends to respect you if he steps out of line with you then u need to say something. I know im talking harsh but your marriage is young yet shoot only 5 months and hes already out sheesh COMMUNICATE
I'm going to make a wild stab and say you got too caught up in planning your multiple weddings (the first thing you mentioned) and competing with your friends who have kids and you forgot about the part that includes the marriage.





I did look through your earlier questions. Two years ago, you were in a girl/girl relationship (not being judgmental, my best friend is bi), last year you and your bf were sending out Christmas cards, then you had your weddings, and now you're already worried about divorce. This is warp speed and it never works.





Slow down and grow up a bit. Stop with the ';text terrorism'; and sit down with hubby, have an adult convo, and point out that the 2 of you are having major communication issues. I do agree with you that this is the problem. Suggest counseling. If he refuses, then I guess you have your answer.





I'd also suggest you get a different medication. There's tons of them out there and if the side effects are causing a problem, don't use this as an excuse for moods or changes in sex drive. Get on a different med, or use a different form of birth control. You're subconsciously allowing this to continue because it's an ';easy out';.
If he is making no attempt to fix the problem, Then the only thing you can do is protect yourself for more heart ache! You should just get in the mind set that your life is changing! Go out with friends, Go shopping, just get out there and motivate yourself! Pamper yourself with a new hair cute, nails done, do something that's going to make your self feel good! I think that's the first step! Then try getting involved in a new activity where your meeting new people! You just have to get out there again! Then in time if things with you and your husband are still heading to a divorce, I think it's perfectly fine to get out there and start dating, It does not mean that you have to have sex, or commit but just to get out there it will be nice to have some attention! If at some point your husband wants to work things out and you feel the same, then go for it! But if he verbally expressing that he wants a divorce and making no attempt to work things out then your just going to have to except that and look out for yourself! No more crying!