Friday, August 20, 2010

How To Let Go Of Your Past?

Mistakes are what we learn most from in life, otherwise we would never grow as people. Most of us went through the low self-esteem-y teenage years, with lots of dishonesty, criminality, alcohol, drugs and meaningless sex involved.





We have all had people taken advantage of us, one way or another and we have all done things that we wish could be undone. It can't and that's why we have to learn from it, to move on with our lives.





The best way to move on with your life is to create a mental box. Take all your regrets and mistakes and put them in there. Forgive yourself and others, and let go of it. Remember the good and forget the bad. It's okay to look back every once in a while, but most importantly, look forward.





God bless you all.How To Let Go Of Your Past?
I cannot disagree with what you have said, but what is your question?





I'm going to try to answer it in perhaps a slightly different way from what you have given us.





The first step is to be honest with ourselves. We must recognize our weaknesses as well as our strengths. And we must also know the difference between them. The past cannot be undone, but we can learn from it. We control the present and future far more than the past.





I agree with your approach, but it is okay to modify it according to what works best for each of us. A little guilt is not a bad thing when we have earned it, but a lot of guilt can be destructive. We should also never be afraid to take credit for doing good when we have earned that, but never to the point of being arrogant or short-sighted.





And we should pass along that hard-gained wisdom to all who will listen to us. This sharing is what makes us people others will respect and remember.How To Let Go Of Your Past?
i absolutely agree :)
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  • How to move on..?

    how do you move on with your life after being with someone for 5 months..?


    yes,,i still love him alot but he cheated twice


    broken up with me 8 times


    %26amp;%26amp;lies





    i just kno im not goin bacc to that...!How to move on..?
    How do you move on?





    I can tell you EXACTLY how, but you probably will not have the will power. - I didn't at first. Do these things and YOU WILL move on, I promise.





    - DELETE his number from your cell phone


    - DELETE all messages and call logs from your cell


    - CHANGE your cell phone number (this is free)


    - REMOVE him from Messenger, FaceBook, myspace etc.


    - DO NOT EVER veiw his online profiles


    - DO NOT send emails or messages online


    - DO NOT ';accidentily'; bump into him





    He does not deserve your time, friendship or compassion.


    Go out with friends, flirt with hotter guys as much as you can. You should find that at least 1 in 5 will appreciate it.





    Before long he'll be out of your mind. No longer the first and last person you think of each day, no longer feeling ';numb'; and with no motivation. Try it! You can't go wrong!!





    Your friends are there for you, and they will remind you how much of a tit he is!How to move on..?
    then take things at face value-five months isn't that bad. stop telling him that you love him, right away, even if you still do. if he cheated twice, then he WILL do it again. cheaters never change. and if he is lying to you, then that means that he isn't ready for a real, trusting relationship. which you deserve better. you move on by removing all memorabilia of you two for starters. lorelai on Glimore Girls had it right-to get over a man you have to wallow. so get some junk food and just cry it out. then, after a week of wallowing, put the candy bowl up and hit the gym-the endorphins fight the misery of the breakup. after a few weeks of that, splurge on something you really want (like an adorable new purse or a cute sundress...or even a pedicure. who wouldn't want an hour of someone massaging your feet with a great smell to go with it!) because you are worth it. then just go out and have fun! start talking to more guys, and keep it to just being friends until you are ready to move on to a new relationship.
    Cut him off, stay away from his friends or any place that you will meet up again. Just be patient and work on yourself and find out who you are for a bit, it will be benefit you so much in the end. If he cheated, he never cared enough to be worthy of your attention, so don't let that mess up ur next relationship, which there will be many more to come and all u have to learn from. Make sure you do your part, so you can walk away knowing you did the right thing, trust me, you will be ok. Just don't let him draw you back in and use your emotions against you for his selfish gains.
    It may be a bit tricky in the beginning, but baby there are people that break up after seven years (so sad). I don't mean to undermine your feelings, not at all, but just try to see it from another point of view. 5 months is a test period, a relationship can't really develop before a year. And cheating twice in such a short period?


    You're wasting the time you may have with someone that's worth it!
    Hon...you need to take things one day at a time....deal with your hurt and don't jump into anything too soon. He cheated on you twice...that doesn't say anything about you but it says everything about him. I know the betrayal is hard to get over and trusting again will be difficult....you feel used, betrayed, and your self-esteem is shattered. You didn't cause any of it. Take it one day at a time and when you are ready you will find another. You must stop all the communication otherwise you will never move on.


    You are in my prayers....good luck.
    I'm not being mean im being honest. You have only been dating this guy for 5 months. Why love someone when they don't return mutual feelings. This guy can say he loves you all day long but the truth of the matter is that a guy who is truly in love with a girl won't cheat. You need to remove yourself from this guy completely for awhile until you feel you can handle being around him. Go out with your friends, and find a guy who wants to be with you.
    Well the first step is admitting it, next you've got to identify the problems and rectify them out of your life. If you still truly love him give him another chance, however If you feel like he played with you for too long and used you, then call it quits. move on girl you deserve much better.





    It's your life !





    Best





    Jordan
    Yer, you obviously can't help what you feel about him, but you can control your actions which you're obviously trying to do. Just try and occupy yourself as much as possible and spend time with your friends and family and enjoy the good life without that jerk!
    i know it sounds horrible, but break all contact with him go out get attention from other guys this will help your self esteem get a rebound guy for no longer than a month. he will want you back you get the satisfaction of blowing him out. you will see that you deserve better and a lesson to be learnt that once a cheater always a cheater. if getting his txts is too hard not too reply change your number and erase all the crap he says out of your memory. all for the best you will be a stronger person good luck.
    Isn't it obvious? You should break all contact with him!! You know he's no good for you, you already know that being with him will only bring you pain, so start listening to your head and stop thinking about him!


    Go out, look for someone new. There are many great guys out there, you just haven't spotted one yet because you're still thinking of your ex. When you find someone new, believe me, you'll forget all about your ex.
    it was only 5months not 1 year or anything like that and plus he cheated why are you dwelling he is making you look stupid you need to move on there is a LIFe after a man and there is a life after 5months you make it sound like you to were married.
    If you know you're not going back to that, then you're already moving on. It is understandable that you are hurt. Obviously this guy treated you like total crap! You deserve better. Be happy he is not your problem anymore. Go out and have fun. It will take your mind off things and open you up to meet new people....maybe even a new guy!
    Lol the fact you went back 8 times you sold yourself as a sucker.


    Dont let a guy treat you like that.


    Move on knowing you can do better.
    usually when someone cheats on another, that helps to get over someone really quick.





    The only thing that is goin to help is time. Within that time tho, remind yourself that you need someone who is true to you.
    You take a long look in the mirror %26amp; tell yourself, as if you were your best friend, that you deserve better! Find your self respect. Be greatful for the knowledge. Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted!
    5 months....get over it girl ! Quit communicating with him so much....he,s keeping you on a call is all ! Theres a whole world out there to enjoy full of men....quit putting yourself on hold, your worth it. Go have fun
    Just set it in your mind that this period in your life is over. Then get on with your life. If he tries to interject himself again, don't listen to anything he says, just tell him its over and walk away.
    You just need time and space. sometimes meeting other people can help but thats not always the case. Just learn from your mistakes and do the best you can to stop thinking about it.
    Dont force yourself to forget him, it will come on its own. Just let yourself hurt it will come to an extent that you wont feel the pain any more. Give it time
    you really need to find a new man. 8 times is enough to figure out he dont like you.
    you don't want to go back...that's how you move on you don't go back
    date someone right aways that is 5 to 10 times the man he was.
    leave, and live like your better off without him.


    he'll die


    and want you back.
    Just find somebody else....Many fish in the sea....yada yada yada........Finding another person that is better will just deplete him in ur mind....that probably didnt make sense.....im so high.
    dont forget him

    How do you move on when you cant.........?

    I broke up with my ex 2 yrs ago. She moved on and has been in a relationship ever since. About a year ago, everytime she came through town, we would catch up and end up sleeping together. I have tried to keep my distance, told her i need to move on with my life, but i still cant stay away. I know its not the right thing to do, but i miss her and still love her, shes my first love. How do you move on with your life when its like this??How do you move on when you cant.........?
    You need to find someone else that you can connect with.


    You won't be able to move on if she is still so important to you.


    And still sleeping with her will help nothing.


    If you really want to move on,you have to completely let go.


    It will be hard but time heals all wounds.How do you move on when you cant.........?
    You are making it worse by continuing to sleep with her . Change your numbers. tell her to not come back. Move on to the next one, there are plenty of other adventures left in your life just get started with the next one. Find you a position somewhere as a volunteer in a gay or lesbian organization. I do this it is great for meeting people and screening potential dates.
    It's only prolonging your hurt if you sleep with her. The best thing is to end it completely. Try to go further afield to seek out like-minded people.
    the best thing might be to find someone else
    find someone else

    Do your friends just like to tell you not to think too much whenever you tell them your problems?

    I am undergoing streams of mood swings recently because of some relationship problems with a boy. But whenever I want to share with my friends what's going on with my life and how bad I feel, they always seem to only resort to the standard response ';don't think too much. Move on with your life. Things will be fine. Don't be a child.';





    Up till now, only 1 of the friends, who is a girl that I don't even know for so long, probably just couple months at school, showed tremendous support and patience to analyse my case. But others would only say that I am childish and whiny.





    So why the others would they still claim they are good listeners and am willing to stand by me? I know everyone has issues, but all I am looking for is that they would be really engaging to my problem once they told me they are ready to share my sorrow, but not just telling me to forget about things and move on.





    How am I supposed to learn and move on if I don't analyse my mistakes and problems??Do your friends just like to tell you not to think too much whenever you tell them your problems?
    Good point on the whole ';analyse my mistakes and problems?'; thing.





    You will often find that only a few (or 1!) friends will truly stick w/ you through thick and thin. When you find such friends: DON'T LET THEM GO!!! I mean it! Use these people (in a good way of course!) to learn how to improve yourself and become the person you wish to be. All of us must continue to change for the better, or we will simply become whatever becomes easiest for us to be. Which is usually undesirable. Because great people are made by passing through trials and succeeding to do the right things even when it gets hard. The End will be beautiful however if you make the right choices now. I wish you the best in life, and hope that you will hold on to Hope...and that 1 friend I mentioned earlier.





    BTW, that 1 friend in your life will sometimes change.

    How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?

    We were together for over 10 yrs. We told each other that we were meant to be, soul mates. Pieces of puzzle that fit. He gave to me his grandmothers wedding band, 5 yrs ago, with a promise for the wedding ring to match. He took me around the world to see %26amp; be in places that were only only in my dreams. He made my dreams come true. I Will be FOREVER GRATEFUL, and he knows. Buy there is something wrong. He's not calling anymore....tears keep rolling down my face all the time, when I think about him. I do tell him on the phone, e-mails and reg mail. Its like I don't exisist anymore in his life. I am running scared. He is the love of my life and he does know. Something tells me that I must move on. I think I need closure. What do you all think? I can't do this by disengaging my feelings, my heart won't let go. He has embedded his self, what am I going to do?How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?
    sometimes this type of situation arises, but what to do.


    u know one thing that TIME HAS WINGS,SO everything will be alright.just give sometime more to both of u.if he is in ur fate,then besides so many odds, he will come again back to u. but don't get any wrong decision or finding someone else. if u really loved him, then trust and belive that one day everything will be alright.


    i know it's hard, but what ever happens,happens just for good.How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?
    Why are you two apart? Is he on deployment? There is something important missing from your text. Did he break up w/u?


    Obviously, there is love here. But I don't understand why it's over. Are you not accepting his breakup? What's the deal?
    pawn the wedding band
    If he has moved on already then maybe you should try and do the same.i kow that is it going to be hard,maybe even the hardest thing you have ever had to do.I am with my soulmate and i hope that i never have to face the day that he says that he doesnt want to be with me anymore.I know that you dont want to do this but if yall were meant to be then God will bring yall together in the end.
    First of all, I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I don't know what his deal is, but just be patient and pray. Sometimes, things are not always what they seem. If he truly is your soulmate, the one God has planned for you, then love will find a way. Just pray and have faith and I will keep you both in my prayers. God bless.
    Honey, If he's not calling or responding, he's not what he claimed to be. Take the time you need to come to terms with that and move on. Whether he's leaving scared of commitment, wanting time to himself, or leaving for somebody else; if he loved you as much as has been claimed, he'd be answering you to let you know. Without any kind of response, he's not worth the tears you'll cry.

    Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?

    I have been unhappy for a while now and I am looking for some ideas about how to change my life. I am pretty self-conscious, don't like dealing with large crowds of people, and lack the confidence I need to truly take a risk and move on with my life. Does anyone have any ideas about what I could do to start fresh and build a happier, more confident me? A person once told me that a person can only change when he/she is ready to...well, I AM ready to change! I just need some help figuring out what to do from here. Thanks for any advice given...Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?
    the best advice i can give to you is what i'm doing....changing around some of the issues....





    for example, i am completely dissatisfied with what i'm doing right now, work wise. So, i've decided to go back to school in hopes of obtaining a paralegal certification so that i can find myself a job where i can put my brain to use. Here's to hoping i pass the tests along the way so i can get the certification.





    You can change anything around, but you have to have the will power.Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?
    Hi Kyle,





    This depends on what you want to do! One way to go about changing your life is dealing with the things that you are afraid of doing. That will make you happier, even though it may make you to take a step out of your comfort zone.





    Work on your confidence and if you don't like large crowds of people, take small steps to working on your social skills. Perhaps just being out in public where there is a lot of people or just saying hi, or smiling, or giving compliments to people when you have the chance.





    Nobody can figure out what it is that you want; you must find that out for yourself whether it is more friendship, more prosperity, more love, or just an overall improved you. If you are self-conscious, deal with your self-consciousness! You have a positive attitude and now it's time to put it to the test.





    Good luck,





    Tristan
    Go out and start talking to people... show off the things you can do... and demostrate.
    I'm sorry you have been unhappy--but give you lots of kudos for wanting to make a change and become happier. It is a big step--and definitely worth it.


    You have to be your own #1 priority in this life. You need to treat yourself like you would treat a fvery best friend. You deserve just as much respect and love as they do.


    Okay--not knowing your age or living situatiomn/work situation it is a little hard to give ideas on how to proceed.


    How to become more confident and increase self esteem is where to start. personally I do alot of reading on positive self-affirmations. There are web sites that give a daily affirmation to help with self esteem too.


    You need to realize that there is only one 'you' in this world--no one else is exactly like you--and this makes you unique and very special.


    You have talents that others do not have, whether you realize it right now , or not!


    You have alot to offer to this world---your opinion counts--and so do your feelings!


    try to do something for yourself everyday--just for you--- you deserve good things--you deserve to be happy!


    I don't do well in large crowds either--it is a fairly common thing.


    Good luck.

    How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?

    I want to move on with my life. I was in love with a man for two years. I became pregnant, and he walked out on me. But now he's back and wants to be a father and a husband. How should I break it to him that I don't want to be his wife or girlfriend. I've changed my mind! And how do I tell him that I don't want him playing a major role in my daughter's life. (Of course I want my daughter to know her father, but I don't think he should be a part of her daily life). ?How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?
    The decision to move on with your life is for you to make but also remember there is a child involved. Of course I don't know all the details but if he was man enough to come back into your life to play the role as father and husband, I would examine the situation very closely. People do change and we all make mistakes but when people make the effort to change and start being positive, we should acknolwedge that. Unfortunately things happen in God's time, not ours. We would like for people to become better when when want it but that is not how life happens. I can respect you not wanting him in your life as a partner but have you sat down with a clear mind and written down the reasons why not? Are you involved or intrested in someone else currently? Have you sat down with him and outright asked him why he wants to be a part of your life? Find out, you may be surprised.



    Now not having him in your daughter's life is another matter entirely. Unless he is morally bad, you need to let him be involved! There are women all across America who wish the fathers of their children would stand up to be men and resume their role as a father. Perhaps he is not perfect but this is a man who desires to be a father to his child. Even if he walked away at first, he is here now. Tell him what you expect of him as a father and find out what he expects of you as a mother. Let your daughter know both parents and give him a chance with her. If he can be around daily for her, work out something with him. If nothing else I am glad to hear of another man stepping up to the plate because I give classes to women all the time and among their desires is for the father of their children to take responsibility. Many of them stated they find the father more valuable than child support. We always run after men with child support but if a man is willing to be there physically as well, that is when you really win and so does the child.



    Give good thought to your decision. Don't just ask on emotions such as bitterness. We get one side of the story but chances are he'd have another version. Get couseling if you can't make the decision reasonably-sometimes it helps to have some good guidance. I trust you'll do the right thing and all parties involved will be satisfied.How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?
    Two parts to this question. Part one. Tell him your feelings toward him have changed.


    Let him know that you need to have your own space.


    Part two. This isn't all about what you want. Your daughter has the right to have a


    healthy relationship with her father. Just because you have decided you don't want


    the man in your life doesn't give you the right to decide that for your daughter. Unless


    the guy beat you, does drugs or is not a responsible person, he has rights as a father


    and there is nothing you can do or say to change that. You need to grow up where this is concerned.
    Just tell him that You feel different now and talk to him about seening the baby dont yell or fight about it cause when 2 fight and some real feelings end up coming out they dont take it as real cause its in the middle of a fight. Maybe you also changed your mind cause he all ready walked out on you and your scared he will do it again but listen ok I have 4 kids and I didnt want to stay with there father and you cant be with someone for a baby it will never work. Just sit and talk to him tell him how you really feel and if he dont understand then you just have to kick him out wish you luck on this one....
    He is the Father, you wouldn't want this to happen if the roll was reversed. He is also legally responsible for child support. Also what would you tell this innocent child years from now when he or she says ';were is my dad';. Then sooner or later they find him, they go there for his story, and you might loose that child for life.
    you can't necissarily tell someone that they cannot see their own child, maybe you should make some sort of arrangements with the courts to have joint custody.. or just explain to him you don't want to be romantically involved with him anymore,but you cannot take his child away from him.. its not fair to him, and definetly not fair to your daughter
    Its not up to you. He's the father, he has every right to see that baby anytime he so pleases unless you go and get a stupid lawyer who denies that right by lying to the court. Tell him you dont wanna be with him, but you have no say what so ever in the matter of him seeing his daughter.
    i think your bitter and hurt- and have every right to be





    but if you could manage to forgive him, itll put your heart at ease and make your life easier- and your kids life easier





    i know its not fair..and those words dont even begin to explain it..





    but there are more important things in life, and when you hold anger in, it will ruin everything and has already started to.





    i know these are tough words to follow, but if you trust in them, youll see a silver lining creeping into the picture
    You don't. You have a child and they are the father. If he wants to have a relationship with the child then you have to live with that.
    what he said
    and you need to tell him right away so he won't have any false hopes of becoming a family unit with you and your daughter.... You need to examine your true feelings of how you felt when he walked out on you and let him know that those feelings are impeding your ability to move into the relationship that he wants now.

    but.... as a former single mom with a daughter... I would recommend you think about the relationship you DO want him to have and the role you want him to play in her life. Children need their parents... if it is not possible for you to be together... make it so she has ample time with him. You don't have to be part of it if it makes you uncomfortable, but DO keep your relationship with him cordial.



    I'm curious as to why you don't want him to ';play a major role in her life.'; Legally, he has custodial rights and due to her young age, you could have share joint custody.



    I hope you are able to resolve this situation without it turning into an ugly situation...... for the sake of your child. Good luck.
    you may decide that you dont want him to play a major role in your child's life, but dont you think your child is entitled to enjoy father's care. you cant just cut out the father from a child's life. if the father is dead you can say that to the child but you say you want the child to know about the father but yet you dont want her to get too close to him. think from the child's point of view. whatever maybe the problem between the parents it must never affect he child. you should go for a compromise. you could take up turns looking after the kid. in that way you needn't have to worry about the guy getting back into your life and the child would be cared for by both the parents. hope this helped
    Let him know how you feel, tell him that you have no feelings that would allow the relationship from going any further. Tell when he walked out that you can never really trust him in staying when the going gets rough. Let him know you will allow your future child will know who he is and if he wants to support her upbringing, that's fine, if not that's fine also. But you don't expect for him to be in her daily life. Just be honest. But(don't you hate buts) he has a right to see her, he could take you to court and the judges in less you have a valid reason why he can't see her(abusive, or what ever) then they will have you both set up a visitation schedule. Its not going to be easy. But you do what best for you and your child.
    Explain to him that people change, he couldnt have expected you to sit around and wait for him. You grew up and took responsibility of your child while he ran out on it. You have to take the good with the bad, he left for the bad and now wants the good, it doesnt work that way. Tell him you've changed and dont want the things you did 2 years ago, marrying somene wont make it better, tell him the best way he can make it better is to leave things be. If he wants back into your daughters life fine. But its going to have to be baby steps, a little at a time. Because you dont want him hurting her cause that will just make it harder for you.
    be allowed to, regardless of what you think about him, as long as there is no danger to the child in doing so. If you try to keep him from that, then he can go to court and get official sanction to either joint custody or permanent visitation (hell, he could even get full custody), and there is not much you'd be able to do to stop him. You have a long road ahead of you, and doing it on your own is going to be very difficult. A child needs contact and interaction with both parents. The child already has one strike against them by being a ';bastard'; child out of wed lock; don't give her two strikes by not allowing her to interact with her dad.
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