Monday, August 16, 2010

Has your husband or wife left you for another woman or man? How did you cope?

I'm doing some research into how women cope (or not) when their partners leave them for someone else. I'm interested to hear about how you reacted. Did you perhaps do something that you later regreted, or do you wish that you had done something more? Have you now moved on with your life and see the separation as a positive outcome? Or are you still finding life without your ex difficult? Did you reconcile, even if only for a short time? How did you cope with the reality of caring for your children and the pain of your separation? Any stories that highlights your individual reaction to this wide-spread experience would be welcomed.


Thanks.Has your husband or wife left you for another woman or man? How did you cope?
My husband cheated on me nearly two years ago. At the time I completely fell apart. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I was afraid of being left with my two children and having to be in effect a single mum. I have gone through hell, been on anti-depressants, sleeping tablets etc. However through it all I tried to keep everything together for the sake of the children. It was difficult getting up in the morning and taking them to school and going to work, but I made myself do it. I hated him for a long time and we couldn't have a conversation without arguing.





He didn't have a lot to do with the children and I resented him for that. After all he helped bring them into the world, now he was all but discarding them.





Nearly two years on, he is a lot more involved in the children's life, we are friends (as much as we can be) and I am usually happy. I still have bad days but they are few and far between. I enjoy my space and only having to worry about me and the kids. We laugh so much.





Needless to say karma bit him on the bum and he is miserable and only recently realised how much of a mistake he made. Too little too late. He is now desperate to be a part of our lives. Too little too late.Has your husband or wife left you for another woman or man? How did you cope?
He cheated on me and I was glad to see him go. We are bound by our son which he does not support or spend any time with. I just thin of all the bad things he has done and I don't miss him at all
I was not married when this happened to me but I was in a relationship that lasted five years.





The first initial reaction I had was to leave the area (not permanately). My best friend and I left for Chicago for a weekend as soon as we were free. I tried my best not to think about what was happening, why, and definitely didn't want to do the whole ';what is wrong with me'; approach.





The weeks that followed were spent trying to decide where to live (I didn't want to live there anymore--we shared a condo). So, I made my brother, who was close to him, gather the things I wanted and was a mediator. I really couldn't talk to my ex.





Once I found a place, he often tried to talk to me through e-mail and phone but I ignored all the calls for over six months. I didn't want to deal with him or my feelings, I shut it all out. I became very, very busy and spent a lot of time with my siblings and friends.





Over time, I was able to chit chat with him and be on a friendly level, maybe 8 months or so later. He and the girl never lasted...in fact I think that when she got bored of him that is when he was trying to call me to apologize. (hahaha)





I do not regret anything. I could have been crazy and smashed his comic figurines or his car or something. I could have dealt with the communication better. I even left a lot of nice furniture that I liked with him so we wouldn't have to fight over it. I took the cat though. He was upset...but...it was my cat...
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