Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do you REALLY know when to call it quits in your marriage and move on with life?

When you are in danger, or when you have done everything you possible could to save the marriage...How do you REALLY know when to call it quits in your marriage and move on with life?
When you don't talk/communicate and there are no meals together. However, if you have any kids its different. My parents got divorced when I was six, if you do have children, it's hard on them when parents break up. Unless you are cheating on him or he is cheating on you and you have kids, don't stay together, but if you all aren't cheating, then I suggest seeing a marriage counsler before assuming its time to break up. Marriage should not be fooled with either. THere was a reason you married him, find that reason again.How do you REALLY know when to call it quits in your marriage and move on with life?
I think one indicator is that you feel insecure enough about your marriage that you're asking people on Yahoo Answers to give you advice about ending the marriage. Seriously, it's a sign.





That said, I think you obviously need to think long and hard about such a big decision. Marriage is a commitment. With the exception of abuse, I don't think that usually there's one ';smoking gun'; that will cause someone to end a marriage. You have to look at the totality of the circumstances. Psychologists say that healthy relationships need a 5 to 1 ratio of good things to bad things. This means that you need 5 good events for every 1 bad event or fight in order to be happy in a relationship. I don't think you can really go by numbers. I don't think you can say, ';Oh, we don't eat dinner together anymore, we should get a divorce.'; That kind of thing can be fixed if a couple loves each other.





I would look at the relationship as a whole. If you can imagine yourself being happier without your husband, you should probably think about divorce. But don't do it on a whim. Make sure you feel this way consistently for several months before making a decision. Talk about it with your husband. Maybe he feels the same way and just isn't saying anything. The best case scenario would be for you both to work on the marriage and save it.





Sometimes divorce is best for everyone. But also remember that the people who answered your question (including myself) don't know everything that's going on and we don't have to live with the consequences of your decision. You do. It's easy for us to give you advice when it's not our problem. Just think carefully, act with a cool head, and go with what your brain and heart decide.





Good luck.
Just remember that marriage is not a game. You don't quit when you just got bored, or found it hard to complete. When I play video games, that's what I do whenever the game was hard, boring, or just not good.





Marriage is a commitment and you cn always stick with patience before deciding. You can change your spouse behavior by changing yours first. There are tons of solutions to what could fix marriage; but those solutions will never see the light if you didn't give it time and patience.
ending a marriage especially a long term one is never easy. I would say after you've tried to reconcile repeatedly apologized if need be, given or asked for forgiveness for anything, or went to counseling and done everything you possibly could to work things out and the other person is not responding or they've become involved with another relationship... then it is over
I think you know when you and you spouse have tried everything to make it work but but nothing does. I would have tried counseling, talking to friends and each other. Try having dinner and telling each other exactly what is on your mind and how you feel about the other person. Do you want to be together? Is the love still there? Be honest with each other you have nothing to lose. Im married and i love my husband through the good times and bad. We do fight but talking about it will help solve any problems you may have. They should love you and accept you no matter what that's why you said your vows right?
When one of you cheats or abuses the other.


Otherwise, divorce should never be the first option.


I agree with pigalicious, there's a reason you decided to marry this person. Unless that reason is very shallow, then you should try to remember what it was.
I think it's different for everyone. But if both partners are not in on making it work there's nothing you can do. No one person can save their marriage alone.
when the kids don't mind. no kids? anytime. marriage isn't sacred or anything.
well yeah after 6 months no sex,physical fighting, emotional fighting once a week or more,no love being feeled anymore
This is just my opinion... but if you're asking that question... your marriage is already in trouble.
Its different with everyone. I say, try everything to save it before u leave it.
wen yal stop touchin and talkin wit each other like yal use to or wen u start likin somebody else fel me or if one of yal cheat on each other
When you start asking stupid questions like this on yahoo answers.
when you have no love in the bedroom anymore and no communication.
Sounds like you've already made up your mind on that issue. What's the point of asking the question?
when its time don't worry you will know just don't ignore the feeling
when all you do is fight and want to be around them as little as possible
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