Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How do you get your life and your joy back after a divorce?

I've been divorced since 2003. I have had several relationships that have not turned out right because of my insecurities from my marriage. What do I do to get back the life I had when I was happy and full of joy so that I can move on with life and be happy again?How do you get your life and your joy back after a divorce?
Get some confidence and don't be needy or too clingy!!! Your insecurities are yours,and other people shouldn't have to pay for them. get help with it,and get your confidence up in yourself. Find things to do that you really love doing with a passion. Some people love to cook and Garden,ect...... They love it because it makes them feel good and alive. Find things you enjoy doing,and try to do them. Accept yourself just as you are,the good and the bad,and realize that everyone has some insecurities,and no one is perfect. Like what you have and who you are,and improve yourself and your outlook on life and people. Sob stories can get old after awhile,especially when you are dating someone. No one wants an emotional cripple to be with. Get a new look,and get some excercise,eat right,and get some new clothes,ect..... whatever you can do to make yourself realize that another relationship is not what will make you better or happier,instead you can do that. Accept yourself and like YOU,before you can expect others to. Best wishes!!!How do you get your life and your joy back after a divorce?
Be patient with yourself. It takes time to recover from a divorce. If you feel stuck seek the help of a counselor
I've been divorced since 2001 so I understand what you're saying. I wish I had some helpful advice for you, but I'm still in ';limbo';. I do hope things work out for you.
you are not gonna find love and joy in your life unless you love yourself first dont wait till a realtionship does it for you trust me it doesen't work find things that make you happy not a person then when you least expect it ....expect it
Divorce is a hard obsticle to overcome. You have spent time, money, blood, sweat, and tears to make your marriage work.





I feel for you %26amp; hope you get back on your feet soon.





I really can't say anymore than some of the more intelligent answers posted above.
well i know how difficult this can be


i am going through a divorce after 8 years of marriage


from your logon i assume you believe in god and your probably active in a church.. very often that enviornment can be difficult, i felt like i couldnt fit in at church after i left my husband, because marriage is sacred and everyone else was still married.. i hope you relize that god loves you and what ever the reason for the end of your marriage can be forgiven.. if you have not i recommend forgiving your ex, forgivness releases you from that cloud, then you will began to feel the joy within you again. i dont feel that one person is responsible for marriages that end, so you may need to forgive yourself as well. forgiveness does not validate another persons actions, say that the actions were ok, or that you approve, it just releases you from holding that darkness in your spirit, which people can see.. also i encourage you do get involved in activites that you enjoyed prior to your marriage; hiking or reading, it will help you remember who you were prior to the marriage





good luck
young men ( of legal age of course ) many of them


try it..its fun


Good Luck
You need to find yourself first. Keep yourself busy with hobbies and go out with friends. Once you are happy with your career, your hobbies are keeping you busy, your confidence will be better and you wont be as insecure. Don't judge a new mate based on your old mate, it isn'f fair. However, you will feel it when you find the right person.
i know its seems like a lot of time has past already but just continue to give it time, time heals all wounds if you wait long enough keep a positive spirit and when the right person enters your life which they will you'll one day realize you have what you thought was gone
find a new Joy,like yourself,don't look for your happiness in others all the time,and you could always try letting go of the past and look at the future and think of only good things
It just takes some time. Be good to yourself. Live your life the way you want to and do the things you want to do. Treat yourself special, and when you are tempted to compare something to the past, just remember that the past is GONE.
1. Accept that the previous marriage is over. 2. Forgive yourself and your former spouse...That it was not just your fault, but the fault of both. So you can put it behind you and move on. No more wallowing in feelings about it. 3. Affirm your worth. Don't conclude that you're bad or flawed because your marriage didn't work. 4. Let the hurt slowly diminish. It will, a little each day. 5. Focus your life on doing the things that give you joy. Move on from the past. Live in the present moment. Make plans for the future. Build a new life.


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I would go to counselling to try to figure out how to change your thinking process that is bringing up the insecurities. I know at my church we have professional Christian counsellors, and they are great. Good luck.
Find a new friend for sex
You need to find something that your passionate about. Try something that you have never done before. Learn to sing, take classes, learn to dance. Start to feel better about yourself and then find someone new.
It takes time, but good things come to those who wait. I went through an awful divorce and I finally found the most wonderful guy that treats me so great.
3 things





1. Time


2. Time


3. Time





It will come along, be patient and learn how to love yourself instead of putting your value in your relationships. If you need an email friend, email me.
Trust in the Lord and pray for God to lead you where He wants you to go. I will pray for you!
First name Jack, last name Daniel
I've been divorced since 2001 and i just starting hanging out with friends and going out to bars. I met a great guy and we've been happy for 2 years now. good luck and live it up
My marriage ended around the same time. I must admit it's been a very strange experience. I have had such highs and lows i can't describe the feeling. But i'm much happier and have been working on my limiting beliefs. I've come to the conclusion that I wrongly thought my marriage validated me.My self esteem was at a low. My ex was such a mess, how could i possibly have sought validation from him. So i'm doing all the things i didn't do when he was around. See friends, go to the gym, go to night school for my masters, date nice people/ leave if they don't treat me well, dress nicely and just really love ME and the time i spend in my own company.


Get a diary and write down all the things that limit you and explain how they are affecting your growth. Tackle each limiting belief in little steps. Who knows? email me if you want to chat kkkaikuu@yahoo.co.uk
All you neeed is ME
Divorce is hard. I was very young and was becoming a single mother, when my daughter was all of 4 months old. It is hard. Friends! Friends are great people to be with, as they know who you are and you dont feel that you have to impress them all the time. Relationships are hard for everyone to get back into. Sometimes it is easy to get back into it, some people are slow at it. Take it at your own pace. I did not date a steady person for a while. I went out with different people and enjoyed the time with them while it lasted. No intercourse involved. Just a nice evening. Then maybe you will be on a date with someone, you will like that person, and you will want to be with them. Hopefully they will feel the same for you.





Take it slow. No need to rush. Enjoy what you have while it is there... most importantly... no one person is the same, let go of the unsecurities that you may have, as that you will see in the long run is what is holding you back from happiness.
It does take time, but remember you are worthy of love and affection and compassion and it will happen again. Pray, lean on friends, lean on family, try something you always wanted to but never had the guts to do. Start each day fresh and new and try to have just a good day. Learn to be thankful for the little things and say it. Don't worry to much about the future, enjoy now.
Before you are able to move forward you have to see that the reason the marriage failed is because the two of you were not meant to be. You are left feeling insecure and unloved while you ex moved on as though it was a blip on the screen. First take a long look at the pattern of the releationship was he making snide remarks early on, were you pushing his buttons to get any kind of reaction that would reinforce your low self esteem. The truth is the only way to move forward is by exposing youself to yourself and loving every fault and seeing that you are a desirable human being who has kept herself hidden away from the world too long don't assume the human race will judge you, you are a sexual being and you deserve to be happy start by laughing because the reality of it is that you are free from the opression and ready to rock n roll with your heart.
The Joy of the lord is my strength. Begin to help others as you do you will Begin to find yourself again and all of the wonderfully things you have been gifted with. work at a local shelter. walk some ones dog surprise some of the less fortunate people with a bag of food. don't tell everyone what you are doing just start doing joyfully thing and wait to see when your friends start to tell you they notice a difference in your joy level have fun....some people say smiling causes a joy full reaction in our brains even if we are not happy when we do it. so keep smiling and bring joy to others yours will soon return
I went through a divorce and I know it can be painful and fearful starting new relationships. I was able to move past the bitterness, anger, fear, and disappointment by reading the bible. You need to heal before moving forward into a new relationship. It is alright to be alone to learn and get to know yourself again. I read healing scriptures and scriptures that encouraged me which ultimately built up my self esteem. I prayed and went to church, I joined women ministries and had discussions with other women that experienced what I had gone thru. Many nights were painful, but eventually God intervened and now I am in a relationship and am not afraid to see where things go. Healing comes by the word of God.

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