Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?

I met my wife online almost 7 yrs ago. She was in the US, me in the UK. We spent almost a yr getting to know each other through chat, then we met in person, we hit it off physically, spent the next 2 yrs in a long distance transatlantic relationship, flying back and forth as often as possible.


Then 3.5 yrs ago she moved to UK to be with me, we got married (well, Civil Partnered) and all was ok for a while, but my wife has never gotten on well with England, in fact she hates it here. And now 3.5 years down the line she is at the end of her tether with this country and desperately wants to go home. She didn't realize before she came here just how much she loves her country, her culture, her home. Being away from all she knows has made her feel empty inside, and the romantic visions of living in britain have just not been realized (Britain sucks immensely in many many ways!)


She has told me that she loves me, but she has to go, for her sake and mine, she's so homesick and it's making her depressed and angry and she's been getting more and more bitter and resentful. She's miserable in the UK and misses the US/her family/friends too much to stay here, i've known for a while now how sad she's been living here, i've slowly watched the spark in her disappear and i know that going home is the only thing that's going to fix that.


The problem is- Although i would leave the U.K in a heartbeat and move back with her...I can't!!


U.S federal immigration laws do not recognize same-sex relationships for immigration purposes.


It's so unfair that an american man can bring his foreign wife home, but an american woman can't bring her foreign wife home!


So once my wife goes back, that's it, game over for us. We can't go on doing the long distance thing forever, and there's no sign on the horizon of the immigration laws changing, so the best thing we can do is try to let go of this love and our marriage and move on with our lives.





I'm so in love with my wife, my world is going to be crushed without her here, and will miss her desperately once she's gone, but i want her to be happy again, so i have to let her go, despite the fact it's gonna make me so miserable being here without her





Has anyone got any tips to help me cope with losing the love of my life?Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?
You know you can apply for a work visa, have you even talked with someone about the logistics of obtaining a visa? or do you just don't want to move to the US? Think really hard about this I'm sure if you try hard enough you can find a way!Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?
You could both immigrate to Canada, it's close to the US and the culture is similar and they do recognize same sex marriage...
Try and find a gay couple in the same boat and get married to them. Get the green cards wait a couple years and get divorced. US immigration laws really suck!
Seriously? You say you love her, but just because of stupid laws you wouldn't go with her? She moved to your country, why not do the same for her for love's sake? I say good day.
I have friends coping with the same situation - they were married in Canada, then one was transferred to the US for work. Unfortunately, the best his partner could do was a 5-year visa, and once it's up, they're not sure if they'll be able to get it renewed unless he finds a job in the US that will sponsor him for his visa, but they're trying.





I think you should move here on the best visa you can get, and keep at it until you can find something that works.
move there anyway, wats the worst that could happen? u get deported? then ur in the UK anyway but at least u tried. fight the man! fight for love!