How did you tell your spouse you wanted a divorce/separation?

How bad did it hurt?





How long did it take you to *really* get over and attempt to move on with your life........don't say immediately cuz that's a big fat lie!





*Thanks*How did you tell your spouse you wanted a divorce/separation?
I guess the best way would be to come right out and tell him. As far as getting over it I guess it all depends on how long you have been together and what the reasons are for wanting the divorce.How did you tell your spouse you wanted a divorce/separation?
I told my hubby many times that I wanted to end the marriage, we had problems for years, we both tried but the old things that bugged us kept creeping back up. I decided 2 years ago that enough was enough (I'd nearly walked out many times but stayed because of the kids) it took a year from that to finally end it mind.





I know this might sound awful but I always put the kids happiness first. But I realised it was hurting them seeing mummy and daddy argue all the time. I also needed some happiness in my life, we are only here once.





If hurt my hubby more because he still loved me, but the love I had for him died many years ago.





I moved on with my life very quickly, maybe cos I was ready for it. My hubby its taken longer. We are currently in the middle of a divorce too so obviously thats painfull too. Its very stressful.
My marraige was over a good year before my ex moved out and the papers were final. We had talked about divorce of and on for a long time, only niether of us went any further for awhile..I think we were taking our time to make damnn sure that was the best thing because we have 3 kids.





We finally filed in October of 2006, and we did our own divorce since there was no arguing, we split things up on our own from visitation my ex would get with the kids right down to who got to keep the couch in the living room... In December of that same year it was finallized, and that is when I met my now fiance...Very soon I know, my ex haden't even moved out yet, but the relationship was long over.





I had been trying to fix things for so long, I had cried myself too sleep over it a hundred times, and by the time the divorce actually wound up taking place, I was well enough in my life to move on.





It did happen quick for me, but at that point and time, there was nothing more left to get over, or be sad about.





I have been with my fiance ever since (December 9, 2006) and now we are getting married in April. I wouldn't change anything about my situation because I have finally found the man I have always wanted in life.
I supose it all depends on how your situation is. In my case, it was really hard, because he kept telling me he loved me and he didn't want us to split, but I was absolutely sure I didn't want to continue my life with him. It took me over a year to finally say ';that's it, no matter how much you cry, there is no way we can make a life together';. That was October last year, and although he was still living at home, he was sleeping in another room.





He moved out in February, and I must admit, it was really nice and I felt relief when he left, although I was worried about him, I felt I had my life back.





You just need to sit down and tell your partner upfront, and give the reasons why, as this is important for them to move on as well.





I wish you all the luck!
OMG, It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do...About 4 months ago I finally told my soon to be ex that I wanted out...he was trying to get lucky and I just could not do it, so I told him... I had known for quite some time but I just could not bring myself to tell him. I even went to therapy for a couple of months just to get past the guilt part of it. I now moved out with our 2 kids and started a new job, everything is going well. He took kind of hard but he kinda new it was coming too. He still tells me he misses and loves me but he understands.. I won't lie in someways I do miss him, but that is just because we had been together for 10 years and he was in my everyday life for so long, I do not hate him I just don't love him.





So Anyways I have been out of our house for about a month or so and all in all life is sooo much better. I wish you the best in this hard news you have to deliver, but you will feel sooo relieved when you finally tell your spouse. Good luck, things will get better!
Immediately.


Thats the truth, when you are ready to separate or divorce you have come to the end of the road and freedom is peace.


If you think you have to ';attempt'; to move on with your life and you think its a big fat lie when I say immediately, then quite honestly you are not ready for divorce.


I felt like shouting from the rooftops IMMEDIATELY !
My ex spouse asked me to sit down one evening...then told me he wanted a divorce. I remember it like it was yesterday. At that time we had a 15yr history and two children, a home, an RV...yaddayadda. It's been 10yrs since that night. I'm long over him...but I continue to feel occasional grief for the loss of it all...especially with regards to our children...what they have had to endure for the last ten years...they are 12 and 17.


It took me a solid 6yrs to honestly move on with my life.
in person, and as soon as possible.. it took me well over a year, but do not quit just cuz you fall out of love... because love can come and go, true relationships ride out rocky patches... as easily as you fall outta love, you can fall back in love...
I 'moved on' emotionally the day I found out that my husband was cheating on me. I asked for a divorce a few months later . No emotions ,never looked back, never regreted. The day I got my divorce I celebrated.
say you think you cant see life with the person anymore





your just going to makeyour self more unhappy if you dont divorce soon
By the time it got to that point , we both were ready to hit the door . So , 5-10 minutes .