Monday, August 16, 2010

How do you cut a negative person out of your life?

My college roommate from last semester was extremely negative for me. I felt violated by her and moved out a few months ago. Over the past week, she's been trying to get back in contact, saying that we should sort things out. I keep trying to put an end to her messages, saying we need to just move on with our lives. But it doesn't work.





I want nothing to do with this person and can hardly stand to think of her because of so many bad memories. How do I tell her I don't want to be friends again?How do you cut a negative person out of your life?
without more detail it's impossible to be sure that cutting off all contract is the healthiest thing for you. if you have a pattern of withdrawing and avoiding confrontation, we would be doing you a disservice by affirming such behavior now.





as you use the words negative and violated, i will go on the assumption that she made a lot of negative comments, and/or she betrayed your confidence somehow.





if you never told her anything along the lines of:





';i felt _________ when you just did/said _____';,





or





'; i didn't expect you to __________';





she's probably completely mystified - and IMO you are just as much at fault - she can't read your mind to know what your expectations were.





having said that, should she persist, something along the lines of:





';i've told you that i don't want to talk about it, and your persisting in not respecting me and/or my boundaries is an example of why i moved out.';





should be sufficient to get her to stop - if she *is* well intended. after that, perhaps more drastic measures such as notifying campus security might be appropriate.How do you cut a negative person out of your life?
You have to make your no's a no and your yes's a yes.


If this person is someone you wouldn't want in your life, you need to just be honest without being spiteful.


Once you tell this person you do not want any further contact with them because of how you were treated or what she has done, expect that she may get upset, angry, or even mean but do not stoop to her level.


Let her say whatever and turn your back and walk away.


Once you do, do not accept her phone calls and stay clear. If you speak to her one time, this could restart this entire mess.


Best Wishes
Best way: Don't answer the messages. Not one peep. Soon, she should get discouraged and quit. Unproductive behavior doesn't last long usually. Think about it, how long would you keep messaging a person if they never answered.


I fhtat doesn't work, simply tell her you wish her well and you're moving on, that you're not really interested in getting together with her.
hmm don't answer her messages. when she calls you or ims you on a messenger tell her you're busy and you have to go. When she asks you to go somewhere with her say you've got other plans. Basically don't reply when she tries to talk to you and keep coming up with excuses or really actually be busy so you don't have to make excuses.
You've given her a strong enough cue that she should've figured it out by now. The only thing you have left is to be blatantly honest and tell her - ';I do not want to be friends with you again. I'm not going to answer any messages, phone calls, or any form of communication in the future. Goodbye.';





If she keeps trying to call you, shows up at your door, even after you tell her to leave you alone, contact your Campus Security department and let them know what's going on. They can help you after that.
if she wasnt that good to u u have the rites to go n tell her u dont wanna continue this so called friendship but u know u can always forgive her forget everything she did to u (which i dont have any idea wat she did to u) u gotta show her love show her that ur not like her n ur good give her a 2nd chance c how shes with u... love can make everything(one) change ok? so give her one more chance to prove her wat if she really wants to be ur fren n want to be good to u?
Don't answer her calls or respond to texts, etc. If you happen to run into her tell her that you feel it's best to just go your separate ways and you wish her the best.
just ignore her and let her see the point that you don't like her anymore no matter what.
';at this junction in time my life is full and time does not permit me to converse with you ';
I understand you don't want to say anything that would make her even more negative. But, it's time to sit down with her and say (all of the above) Just be honest and tell her how her attitude affects You. She'll either understand or not. But, you will have handled the situation well. She may even confide in you the reasons behind her behavior. So, try it and see. You never really know what's going on in another person's life. Good Luck.

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