How To Let Go Of Your Past?

Mistakes are what we learn most from in life, otherwise we would never grow as people. Most of us went through the low self-esteem-y teenage years, with lots of dishonesty, criminality, alcohol, drugs and meaningless sex involved.





We have all had people taken advantage of us, one way or another and we have all done things that we wish could be undone. It can't and that's why we have to learn from it, to move on with our lives.





The best way to move on with your life is to create a mental box. Take all your regrets and mistakes and put them in there. Forgive yourself and others, and let go of it. Remember the good and forget the bad. It's okay to look back every once in a while, but most importantly, look forward.





God bless you all.How To Let Go Of Your Past?
I cannot disagree with what you have said, but what is your question?





I'm going to try to answer it in perhaps a slightly different way from what you have given us.





The first step is to be honest with ourselves. We must recognize our weaknesses as well as our strengths. And we must also know the difference between them. The past cannot be undone, but we can learn from it. We control the present and future far more than the past.





I agree with your approach, but it is okay to modify it according to what works best for each of us. A little guilt is not a bad thing when we have earned it, but a lot of guilt can be destructive. We should also never be afraid to take credit for doing good when we have earned that, but never to the point of being arrogant or short-sighted.





And we should pass along that hard-gained wisdom to all who will listen to us. This sharing is what makes us people others will respect and remember.How To Let Go Of Your Past?
i absolutely agree :)

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How to move on..?

how do you move on with your life after being with someone for 5 months..?


yes,,i still love him alot but he cheated twice


broken up with me 8 times


%26amp;%26amp;lies





i just kno im not goin bacc to that...!How to move on..?
How do you move on?





I can tell you EXACTLY how, but you probably will not have the will power. - I didn't at first. Do these things and YOU WILL move on, I promise.





- DELETE his number from your cell phone


- DELETE all messages and call logs from your cell


- CHANGE your cell phone number (this is free)


- REMOVE him from Messenger, FaceBook, myspace etc.


- DO NOT EVER veiw his online profiles


- DO NOT send emails or messages online


- DO NOT ';accidentily'; bump into him





He does not deserve your time, friendship or compassion.


Go out with friends, flirt with hotter guys as much as you can. You should find that at least 1 in 5 will appreciate it.





Before long he'll be out of your mind. No longer the first and last person you think of each day, no longer feeling ';numb'; and with no motivation. Try it! You can't go wrong!!





Your friends are there for you, and they will remind you how much of a tit he is!How to move on..?
then take things at face value-five months isn't that bad. stop telling him that you love him, right away, even if you still do. if he cheated twice, then he WILL do it again. cheaters never change. and if he is lying to you, then that means that he isn't ready for a real, trusting relationship. which you deserve better. you move on by removing all memorabilia of you two for starters. lorelai on Glimore Girls had it right-to get over a man you have to wallow. so get some junk food and just cry it out. then, after a week of wallowing, put the candy bowl up and hit the gym-the endorphins fight the misery of the breakup. after a few weeks of that, splurge on something you really want (like an adorable new purse or a cute sundress...or even a pedicure. who wouldn't want an hour of someone massaging your feet with a great smell to go with it!) because you are worth it. then just go out and have fun! start talking to more guys, and keep it to just being friends until you are ready to move on to a new relationship.
Cut him off, stay away from his friends or any place that you will meet up again. Just be patient and work on yourself and find out who you are for a bit, it will be benefit you so much in the end. If he cheated, he never cared enough to be worthy of your attention, so don't let that mess up ur next relationship, which there will be many more to come and all u have to learn from. Make sure you do your part, so you can walk away knowing you did the right thing, trust me, you will be ok. Just don't let him draw you back in and use your emotions against you for his selfish gains.
It may be a bit tricky in the beginning, but baby there are people that break up after seven years (so sad). I don't mean to undermine your feelings, not at all, but just try to see it from another point of view. 5 months is a test period, a relationship can't really develop before a year. And cheating twice in such a short period?


You're wasting the time you may have with someone that's worth it!
Hon...you need to take things one day at a time....deal with your hurt and don't jump into anything too soon. He cheated on you twice...that doesn't say anything about you but it says everything about him. I know the betrayal is hard to get over and trusting again will be difficult....you feel used, betrayed, and your self-esteem is shattered. You didn't cause any of it. Take it one day at a time and when you are ready you will find another. You must stop all the communication otherwise you will never move on.


You are in my prayers....good luck.
I'm not being mean im being honest. You have only been dating this guy for 5 months. Why love someone when they don't return mutual feelings. This guy can say he loves you all day long but the truth of the matter is that a guy who is truly in love with a girl won't cheat. You need to remove yourself from this guy completely for awhile until you feel you can handle being around him. Go out with your friends, and find a guy who wants to be with you.
Well the first step is admitting it, next you've got to identify the problems and rectify them out of your life. If you still truly love him give him another chance, however If you feel like he played with you for too long and used you, then call it quits. move on girl you deserve much better.





It's your life !





Best





Jordan
Yer, you obviously can't help what you feel about him, but you can control your actions which you're obviously trying to do. Just try and occupy yourself as much as possible and spend time with your friends and family and enjoy the good life without that jerk!
i know it sounds horrible, but break all contact with him go out get attention from other guys this will help your self esteem get a rebound guy for no longer than a month. he will want you back you get the satisfaction of blowing him out. you will see that you deserve better and a lesson to be learnt that once a cheater always a cheater. if getting his txts is too hard not too reply change your number and erase all the crap he says out of your memory. all for the best you will be a stronger person good luck.
Isn't it obvious? You should break all contact with him!! You know he's no good for you, you already know that being with him will only bring you pain, so start listening to your head and stop thinking about him!


Go out, look for someone new. There are many great guys out there, you just haven't spotted one yet because you're still thinking of your ex. When you find someone new, believe me, you'll forget all about your ex.
it was only 5months not 1 year or anything like that and plus he cheated why are you dwelling he is making you look stupid you need to move on there is a LIFe after a man and there is a life after 5months you make it sound like you to were married.
If you know you're not going back to that, then you're already moving on. It is understandable that you are hurt. Obviously this guy treated you like total crap! You deserve better. Be happy he is not your problem anymore. Go out and have fun. It will take your mind off things and open you up to meet new people....maybe even a new guy!
Lol the fact you went back 8 times you sold yourself as a sucker.


Dont let a guy treat you like that.


Move on knowing you can do better.
usually when someone cheats on another, that helps to get over someone really quick.





The only thing that is goin to help is time. Within that time tho, remind yourself that you need someone who is true to you.
You take a long look in the mirror %26amp; tell yourself, as if you were your best friend, that you deserve better! Find your self respect. Be greatful for the knowledge. Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted!
5 months....get over it girl ! Quit communicating with him so much....he,s keeping you on a call is all ! Theres a whole world out there to enjoy full of men....quit putting yourself on hold, your worth it. Go have fun
Just set it in your mind that this period in your life is over. Then get on with your life. If he tries to interject himself again, don't listen to anything he says, just tell him its over and walk away.
You just need time and space. sometimes meeting other people can help but thats not always the case. Just learn from your mistakes and do the best you can to stop thinking about it.
Dont force yourself to forget him, it will come on its own. Just let yourself hurt it will come to an extent that you wont feel the pain any more. Give it time
you really need to find a new man. 8 times is enough to figure out he dont like you.
you don't want to go back...that's how you move on you don't go back
date someone right aways that is 5 to 10 times the man he was.
leave, and live like your better off without him.


he'll die


and want you back.
Just find somebody else....Many fish in the sea....yada yada yada........Finding another person that is better will just deplete him in ur mind....that probably didnt make sense.....im so high.
dont forget him

How do you move on when you cant.........?

I broke up with my ex 2 yrs ago. She moved on and has been in a relationship ever since. About a year ago, everytime she came through town, we would catch up and end up sleeping together. I have tried to keep my distance, told her i need to move on with my life, but i still cant stay away. I know its not the right thing to do, but i miss her and still love her, shes my first love. How do you move on with your life when its like this??How do you move on when you cant.........?
You need to find someone else that you can connect with.


You won't be able to move on if she is still so important to you.


And still sleeping with her will help nothing.


If you really want to move on,you have to completely let go.


It will be hard but time heals all wounds.How do you move on when you cant.........?
You are making it worse by continuing to sleep with her . Change your numbers. tell her to not come back. Move on to the next one, there are plenty of other adventures left in your life just get started with the next one. Find you a position somewhere as a volunteer in a gay or lesbian organization. I do this it is great for meeting people and screening potential dates.
It's only prolonging your hurt if you sleep with her. The best thing is to end it completely. Try to go further afield to seek out like-minded people.
the best thing might be to find someone else
find someone else

Do your friends just like to tell you not to think too much whenever you tell them your problems?

I am undergoing streams of mood swings recently because of some relationship problems with a boy. But whenever I want to share with my friends what's going on with my life and how bad I feel, they always seem to only resort to the standard response ';don't think too much. Move on with your life. Things will be fine. Don't be a child.';





Up till now, only 1 of the friends, who is a girl that I don't even know for so long, probably just couple months at school, showed tremendous support and patience to analyse my case. But others would only say that I am childish and whiny.





So why the others would they still claim they are good listeners and am willing to stand by me? I know everyone has issues, but all I am looking for is that they would be really engaging to my problem once they told me they are ready to share my sorrow, but not just telling me to forget about things and move on.





How am I supposed to learn and move on if I don't analyse my mistakes and problems??Do your friends just like to tell you not to think too much whenever you tell them your problems?
Good point on the whole ';analyse my mistakes and problems?'; thing.





You will often find that only a few (or 1!) friends will truly stick w/ you through thick and thin. When you find such friends: DON'T LET THEM GO!!! I mean it! Use these people (in a good way of course!) to learn how to improve yourself and become the person you wish to be. All of us must continue to change for the better, or we will simply become whatever becomes easiest for us to be. Which is usually undesirable. Because great people are made by passing through trials and succeeding to do the right things even when it gets hard. The End will be beautiful however if you make the right choices now. I wish you the best in life, and hope that you will hold on to Hope...and that 1 friend I mentioned earlier.





BTW, that 1 friend in your life will sometimes change.

How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?

We were together for over 10 yrs. We told each other that we were meant to be, soul mates. Pieces of puzzle that fit. He gave to me his grandmothers wedding band, 5 yrs ago, with a promise for the wedding ring to match. He took me around the world to see %26amp; be in places that were only only in my dreams. He made my dreams come true. I Will be FOREVER GRATEFUL, and he knows. Buy there is something wrong. He's not calling anymore....tears keep rolling down my face all the time, when I think about him. I do tell him on the phone, e-mails and reg mail. Its like I don't exisist anymore in his life. I am running scared. He is the love of my life and he does know. Something tells me that I must move on. I think I need closure. What do you all think? I can't do this by disengaging my feelings, my heart won't let go. He has embedded his self, what am I going to do?How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?
sometimes this type of situation arises, but what to do.


u know one thing that TIME HAS WINGS,SO everything will be alright.just give sometime more to both of u.if he is in ur fate,then besides so many odds, he will come again back to u. but don't get any wrong decision or finding someone else. if u really loved him, then trust and belive that one day everything will be alright.


i know it's hard, but what ever happens,happens just for good.How do you say good-bye to the love of your life and soul mate?
Why are you two apart? Is he on deployment? There is something important missing from your text. Did he break up w/u?


Obviously, there is love here. But I don't understand why it's over. Are you not accepting his breakup? What's the deal?
pawn the wedding band
If he has moved on already then maybe you should try and do the same.i kow that is it going to be hard,maybe even the hardest thing you have ever had to do.I am with my soulmate and i hope that i never have to face the day that he says that he doesnt want to be with me anymore.I know that you dont want to do this but if yall were meant to be then God will bring yall together in the end.
First of all, I am so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I don't know what his deal is, but just be patient and pray. Sometimes, things are not always what they seem. If he truly is your soulmate, the one God has planned for you, then love will find a way. Just pray and have faith and I will keep you both in my prayers. God bless.
Honey, If he's not calling or responding, he's not what he claimed to be. Take the time you need to come to terms with that and move on. Whether he's leaving scared of commitment, wanting time to himself, or leaving for somebody else; if he loved you as much as has been claimed, he'd be answering you to let you know. Without any kind of response, he's not worth the tears you'll cry.

Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?

I have been unhappy for a while now and I am looking for some ideas about how to change my life. I am pretty self-conscious, don't like dealing with large crowds of people, and lack the confidence I need to truly take a risk and move on with my life. Does anyone have any ideas about what I could do to start fresh and build a happier, more confident me? A person once told me that a person can only change when he/she is ready to...well, I AM ready to change! I just need some help figuring out what to do from here. Thanks for any advice given...Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?
the best advice i can give to you is what i'm doing....changing around some of the issues....





for example, i am completely dissatisfied with what i'm doing right now, work wise. So, i've decided to go back to school in hopes of obtaining a paralegal certification so that i can find myself a job where i can put my brain to use. Here's to hoping i pass the tests along the way so i can get the certification.





You can change anything around, but you have to have the will power.Does anyone know a way to go about changing your life?
Hi Kyle,





This depends on what you want to do! One way to go about changing your life is dealing with the things that you are afraid of doing. That will make you happier, even though it may make you to take a step out of your comfort zone.





Work on your confidence and if you don't like large crowds of people, take small steps to working on your social skills. Perhaps just being out in public where there is a lot of people or just saying hi, or smiling, or giving compliments to people when you have the chance.





Nobody can figure out what it is that you want; you must find that out for yourself whether it is more friendship, more prosperity, more love, or just an overall improved you. If you are self-conscious, deal with your self-consciousness! You have a positive attitude and now it's time to put it to the test.





Good luck,





Tristan
Go out and start talking to people... show off the things you can do... and demostrate.
I'm sorry you have been unhappy--but give you lots of kudos for wanting to make a change and become happier. It is a big step--and definitely worth it.


You have to be your own #1 priority in this life. You need to treat yourself like you would treat a fvery best friend. You deserve just as much respect and love as they do.


Okay--not knowing your age or living situatiomn/work situation it is a little hard to give ideas on how to proceed.


How to become more confident and increase self esteem is where to start. personally I do alot of reading on positive self-affirmations. There are web sites that give a daily affirmation to help with self esteem too.


You need to realize that there is only one 'you' in this world--no one else is exactly like you--and this makes you unique and very special.


You have talents that others do not have, whether you realize it right now , or not!


You have alot to offer to this world---your opinion counts--and so do your feelings!


try to do something for yourself everyday--just for you--- you deserve good things--you deserve to be happy!


I don't do well in large crowds either--it is a fairly common thing.


Good luck.

How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?

I want to move on with my life. I was in love with a man for two years. I became pregnant, and he walked out on me. But now he's back and wants to be a father and a husband. How should I break it to him that I don't want to be his wife or girlfriend. I've changed my mind! And how do I tell him that I don't want him playing a major role in my daughter's life. (Of course I want my daughter to know her father, but I don't think he should be a part of her daily life). ?How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?
The decision to move on with your life is for you to make but also remember there is a child involved. Of course I don't know all the details but if he was man enough to come back into your life to play the role as father and husband, I would examine the situation very closely. People do change and we all make mistakes but when people make the effort to change and start being positive, we should acknolwedge that. Unfortunately things happen in God's time, not ours. We would like for people to become better when when want it but that is not how life happens. I can respect you not wanting him in your life as a partner but have you sat down with a clear mind and written down the reasons why not? Are you involved or intrested in someone else currently? Have you sat down with him and outright asked him why he wants to be a part of your life? Find out, you may be surprised.



Now not having him in your daughter's life is another matter entirely. Unless he is morally bad, you need to let him be involved! There are women all across America who wish the fathers of their children would stand up to be men and resume their role as a father. Perhaps he is not perfect but this is a man who desires to be a father to his child. Even if he walked away at first, he is here now. Tell him what you expect of him as a father and find out what he expects of you as a mother. Let your daughter know both parents and give him a chance with her. If he can be around daily for her, work out something with him. If nothing else I am glad to hear of another man stepping up to the plate because I give classes to women all the time and among their desires is for the father of their children to take responsibility. Many of them stated they find the father more valuable than child support. We always run after men with child support but if a man is willing to be there physically as well, that is when you really win and so does the child.



Give good thought to your decision. Don't just ask on emotions such as bitterness. We get one side of the story but chances are he'd have another version. Get couseling if you can't make the decision reasonably-sometimes it helps to have some good guidance. I trust you'll do the right thing and all parties involved will be satisfied.How do you tell the father of your baby that you don't want him in your life anymore?
Two parts to this question. Part one. Tell him your feelings toward him have changed.


Let him know that you need to have your own space.


Part two. This isn't all about what you want. Your daughter has the right to have a


healthy relationship with her father. Just because you have decided you don't want


the man in your life doesn't give you the right to decide that for your daughter. Unless


the guy beat you, does drugs or is not a responsible person, he has rights as a father


and there is nothing you can do or say to change that. You need to grow up where this is concerned.
Just tell him that You feel different now and talk to him about seening the baby dont yell or fight about it cause when 2 fight and some real feelings end up coming out they dont take it as real cause its in the middle of a fight. Maybe you also changed your mind cause he all ready walked out on you and your scared he will do it again but listen ok I have 4 kids and I didnt want to stay with there father and you cant be with someone for a baby it will never work. Just sit and talk to him tell him how you really feel and if he dont understand then you just have to kick him out wish you luck on this one....
He is the Father, you wouldn't want this to happen if the roll was reversed. He is also legally responsible for child support. Also what would you tell this innocent child years from now when he or she says ';were is my dad';. Then sooner or later they find him, they go there for his story, and you might loose that child for life.
you can't necissarily tell someone that they cannot see their own child, maybe you should make some sort of arrangements with the courts to have joint custody.. or just explain to him you don't want to be romantically involved with him anymore,but you cannot take his child away from him.. its not fair to him, and definetly not fair to your daughter
Its not up to you. He's the father, he has every right to see that baby anytime he so pleases unless you go and get a stupid lawyer who denies that right by lying to the court. Tell him you dont wanna be with him, but you have no say what so ever in the matter of him seeing his daughter.
i think your bitter and hurt- and have every right to be





but if you could manage to forgive him, itll put your heart at ease and make your life easier- and your kids life easier





i know its not fair..and those words dont even begin to explain it..





but there are more important things in life, and when you hold anger in, it will ruin everything and has already started to.





i know these are tough words to follow, but if you trust in them, youll see a silver lining creeping into the picture
You don't. You have a child and they are the father. If he wants to have a relationship with the child then you have to live with that.
what he said
and you need to tell him right away so he won't have any false hopes of becoming a family unit with you and your daughter.... You need to examine your true feelings of how you felt when he walked out on you and let him know that those feelings are impeding your ability to move into the relationship that he wants now.

but.... as a former single mom with a daughter... I would recommend you think about the relationship you DO want him to have and the role you want him to play in her life. Children need their parents... if it is not possible for you to be together... make it so she has ample time with him. You don't have to be part of it if it makes you uncomfortable, but DO keep your relationship with him cordial.



I'm curious as to why you don't want him to ';play a major role in her life.'; Legally, he has custodial rights and due to her young age, you could have share joint custody.



I hope you are able to resolve this situation without it turning into an ugly situation...... for the sake of your child. Good luck.
you may decide that you dont want him to play a major role in your child's life, but dont you think your child is entitled to enjoy father's care. you cant just cut out the father from a child's life. if the father is dead you can say that to the child but you say you want the child to know about the father but yet you dont want her to get too close to him. think from the child's point of view. whatever maybe the problem between the parents it must never affect he child. you should go for a compromise. you could take up turns looking after the kid. in that way you needn't have to worry about the guy getting back into your life and the child would be cared for by both the parents. hope this helped
Let him know how you feel, tell him that you have no feelings that would allow the relationship from going any further. Tell when he walked out that you can never really trust him in staying when the going gets rough. Let him know you will allow your future child will know who he is and if he wants to support her upbringing, that's fine, if not that's fine also. But you don't expect for him to be in her daily life. Just be honest. But(don't you hate buts) he has a right to see her, he could take you to court and the judges in less you have a valid reason why he can't see her(abusive, or what ever) then they will have you both set up a visitation schedule. Its not going to be easy. But you do what best for you and your child.
Explain to him that people change, he couldnt have expected you to sit around and wait for him. You grew up and took responsibility of your child while he ran out on it. You have to take the good with the bad, he left for the bad and now wants the good, it doesnt work that way. Tell him you've changed and dont want the things you did 2 years ago, marrying somene wont make it better, tell him the best way he can make it better is to leave things be. If he wants back into your daughters life fine. But its going to have to be baby steps, a little at a time. Because you dont want him hurting her cause that will just make it harder for you.
be allowed to, regardless of what you think about him, as long as there is no danger to the child in doing so. If you try to keep him from that, then he can go to court and get official sanction to either joint custody or permanent visitation (hell, he could even get full custody), and there is not much you'd be able to do to stop him. You have a long road ahead of you, and doing it on your own is going to be very difficult. A child needs contact and interaction with both parents. The child already has one strike against them by being a ';bastard'; child out of wed lock; don't give her two strikes by not allowing her to interact with her dad.

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Why does it hurt so bad when you lose the love of your life over some stupid crape?

Now the love of my life has gone as she is moving on with her life to a different man who will treat her better than me. But what i don't understand that the love for her will be here for her is she wants it. But I love my ex with all my heart and soul and one day I was going to marry her to, but now she is gone for good. I guess that it is true what they say about people who finish last then, as i think that i fit in that catorgory right now. Yes I'm a very old fashion man and i do know how to treat a woman and all. But i would like to know how can i win love of my life back and be a happy man for the rest of my life?????Please response to serious answers only...Thank youWhy does it hurt so bad when you lose the love of your life over some stupid crape?
THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE HAPPY IS TO LET HER GO


AND MOVE ON. SHE HAS MOVE ON AND IT TIME FOR YOU


TO DO THE SAME. IT DOES HURT WHEN YOU LOVE SOME


ONE THAT HAS GONE. BUT YOU WILL FIND LOVE AGAIN.


SHE OUT THERE.Why does it hurt so bad when you lose the love of your life over some stupid crape?
if you love her the way you say you do,then talk to her,tell her everything you feel.and if she loves you the same,then dont let her go,dont loose the love of your life cause you think she's gonna be better with someone else.if she loves you too im sure she will only be ok being with you.


if she doesnt,then let her go,try to get over her,i dont think you will forget about her,but time heals all wounds,and if it's mean to be then it will be.


good luck!
love is hard ive lost mine its like lossing a arm your so used to having right there but its gone now. well look theres not much you can do, once women moved on they move on i know its not what you want but its the truth.now the way you can win her back is opening your heart, let her see the love and tell her truth will have its rewards. i know its hard but you might want to get some female friends and they might take your mind off of things.
Toughy... Do you ever think that maybe, it just wasnt meant to be. Yeah it may not seem that way now, but obviously something went wrong. Even if you didnt do anything and it was just her, she must have wanted to move on, maybe she thought her love of her life wasnt you, and it was the guy she is with now. You just need to let her go and move on, you will find another girl, trust me, and if you are as great of a guy as you say, it will be her loss and someone elses win.
Why did she leave you??? Release the pain and move on with your life. If you really, truly love her, you have to let her go. If she really truly loves you then she will return. You can't force it to happen. You just have to let nature takes its course.
I really don't know what it feels like to lose love over a crape. I did, however, lose a good friend over a doughnut once. Lot of regrets there (shoulda' fought harder for that doughnut).
wow, i am on the other side of this situation....in fact, you COULD be my ex....hmmm


well, I put up with my ex's s**t many, many times. and this last time was the last time.


so i guess what I'm saying is, if this is the first time you messed up, you may still have a chance of convincing her to come back. BUT, if things like this have happened repeatedly...well, you could have lost her forever.





ps-


really, is it you??
I don't feel sympathic for you. you should have treated her right the first time. but to answer your question, you should try showing her that you are willing to bend and treat her right this time. show her that everyone deserves a second chance and so do relationships. and notice that i say SHOW not tell... ask yourself that if you are going to get her back, will you be unfaithful? its no point to get her back and later get a divorce or break up! of course now you say you won't be unfaithful and treat her bad, but be honest. you must pass the test yourself before you can ask her to trust you. she was with you and there is a reason why she was with you in the first place. show her that reason again. i don't want to tell you to be a different man bc then ur relationship is doomed to fail, but is there something about you that you know you should change to become a better person? not only for her, but also for you?





but remember: nothing comes great if it was forced. there has to be a reason why you two are not together. faith never plan you two to be together and if you force it, you might even ruin the future. many people seem like they should belong, but sometimes, when they are not ready, they are not ready. try to focus on who you want to become first. once you found out, be that man, and then it will be easier.





hope this helps. good luck.

How do you break up with someone that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with?

I love my boyfriend, from his looks, to his jokes and the sex, we can talk for hours, we like watching the same stuff on TV and overall we are alot alike! The problem is that he is so careless that he lives for the moment he is immature %26amp; he doesnt know how to save he wants all the nice thnigs in life buthe doesnt want to take the responsibility of having to pay bills orhavingto go to work everyday! %26amp; now that he finally does he seems depressed, we fight about how to spend our money all the fuccin time...I wanne pay off our debt he wants to buy redbull cause he is tiered, n e way I know I can make it without him like get an appartment %26amp; pay all the outstanding bills but with him who knows how long it will take, its seems like we are not on the same page and him beeing inconsiderant to my worries about tommorrow or next month is hurting my feelings. I want to move on %26amp; be more then WE are right now %26amp; I know how to do it but he is out for his own profit, how do I move on I love him soHow do you break up with someone that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with?
simply tell him that you love and want to be with him forever but you can't do it by yourself and if he does'nt start helping you out tell him he gots ta goHow do you break up with someone that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with?
Next him sweetie seem he is only bringing you down and you know it. PLEASE REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR NUMBER ONE AND THAT IS YOU!!! Money is a very big problem in all relationships and if you are already having thoses issues you very well better do something about it now before it is too late. If not things will only get worst. TALK to him and if he does not listen leave him and do not i mean really do not look back. for your own good....
A man is suppose to complament you... He is not suppose to take away from you... You should sperate for a while... You guys are not in healthy realtionship and it is not going to get any better until you make some decisons about where you want your life to go... A man will only do what you allow him to do... It's great that you guys have so much in common, but does he make you feel liek a woman? Does he sweep you off your feet still?
stay with him you will know how much you miss him if you break up
if u love him that much, seek counseling to help, why leave someone if u love him like u have mentioned a few times in question.......things can be worked out, dont give up yet...........ya'll r not married.
There is no easy way to go about leaving someone you love. Do you really want him gone or are you just upset? It sounds to me like your not to sure. If you 2 love each other then you should be able to get past this whole finical thing. OK I don't really no much about couples living together cuz me and my BF don't...but I do know that before you break up with him you have to ask your self if this petty argument is worth loosing the one you love...





Good luck and if all else fails then just pray about it....God will give you the answer...





I'll be cheering for ya.. :-)
it seems like you know its best...so if you cant work those problems out you will be fine. it will just take time
You have to be honest and explain this to him.


Try writing him a note and say you will talk about in person in....say 2 days. This way he has time to think about everything and perhaps be more logical when you confront each other.





I think the two of you will be okay, he just might not understand your feelings at the moment.
just do it, the more you think about it the more you will find excuses not too.
I think you know the answer to this. He is dragging you down and not helping you to meet your goals and dreams. That's not loving you. You need to just DO it. There's no easier way. The only thing that will help is the time away and the self respect you'll gain by making strides towards your goals.

How long did it take you to heal?

How long did it take you to heal over somone you loved so much but you had to leave because he/she was unfaithful, or for whatever reason you had that you had to stand by? Even though they did you wrong and you know you can't go back you can't just end the pain , the missing that person, or the just stop loving them! So if you been through it how long did it take you to get over the pain of having to move on with your life without that person?How long did it take you to heal?
I'm sorry to hear that your heart was broken. I can imagine how you feel, because I was once in your shoes. I was in a relationship with this guy who then was my world. I did all the things a woman should do for her man yet that wasn't enough for him to stop cheating. I think it was much harder for me to deal with it, because I wanted to kill myself. I felt rejected and unwanted by his actions. With everything else that was going on in my life, I felt no reasons to live. The pain was too unbearable. I blamed myself for not being a enough for him. And as a result, my self-esteem fell below.





Of course doing that time, I kept taking him back and he kept doing the same things. It went as far as me accepting he had an other woman (this was out of my character). I held on because I'd hoped and wished that he would change. But that didn't happen, so I knew that I needed to take action.





I broke free of him in the year of 2000. Let me tell you, it was hard. I couldn't take no more lies and cheating. I cried, cried and cried myself to healing. I had to accept that although his words said that he wanted me, his action said, NO! I began to tell myself that you deserve better and love doesn't treat anyone like this.





Sister trust me, you not missing nothing. For anything, he's the fool and don't even know it. It took me a year to get over it, but almost two year to get completely over it. And even this day, he's still trying to get back with me. It's been five years and I still tell him ';NO';. I realized that I loved him more than I loved myself. Throughout this ordeal, I found me for the first time. I suggest that you take this time to find you.





You are valuable, precious, and worth more than gold. So lift your head up high, shake off the dust, and start building toward your future. This is a set back for a come back. You'll make it, because I did.





I'm not promising it'll be easy, I'm saying you can overcome it.





Pain don't last long. The healing process is up to you!How long did it take you to heal?
I hope my experience will help you during this difficult time. Remember, he's going to beg for you to come back; set a standard for yourself by not allowing youself to be hurt all over again. You're find Mr. Right. In fact, he'll notice you before you notice him. Please just focus on you right now.

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its going on the fifth year now, and i am just really beginning to feel okay and accepting things as they are, before that i was full of hatred and bitterness, but i prayed, talked about it to a supportive understanding person and now i can finally see that there is an end to the pain and heartache.i miss what i thought he was, but i now know he was never that man i thought he was.its more painful to move on and have to give up life as u knew it than loosing a cheater.
Listen to that song by leona lewis. that line that says ';its gonna hurt when it heals to.'; It is a beautiful break up but moving on song. I left this guy because he was such a jerk. Luckily we lived in different states. I moved back to las vegas after up and leaving him one day from sandiego. We lived together. Anyway I didnt think it would hurt so bad but it did. He didnt love me. I loved me. Thats all you have to remember is to love yourself. Its different for everyone. That was two years ago. I still think about him. Thankful Im not with him, but still imagine him. You have to find a way to deal. You will though and you will be with someone just as wonderful as your prior once was.
It took me 6 years before I felt 100% o.k.,but after the very first year I started to feel a bit better %26amp; it increased gradually,until year 6.But,we all process differently,so it can take you a shorter period of time,I imagine.Bol to you
when they cheat... %26amp; u stay...im telling u from experience.. u NEVER get over it, u NEVER forget..%26amp; u frequently bring it up in every moment u get. its always in the back of ur head even a year later. so keep that in mind.





oh by the way my relationship is over already... for other reasons, but i shoulda left when i was in ur position.
My wife and I both cheated. I done it first then she done it.





We love each other very much and there's no looking back..we just move forward, but I will say this. In some way it actually helped my marriage believe that or not.
Your first true love it take a short while , second true love close to a six month , and third true love a lot longer like a year.

Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?

I met my wife online almost 7 yrs ago. She was in the US, me in the UK. We spent almost a yr getting to know each other through chat, then we met in person, we hit it off physically, spent the next 2 yrs in a long distance transatlantic relationship, flying back and forth as often as possible.


Then 3.5 yrs ago she moved to UK to be with me, we got married (well, Civil Partnered) and all was ok for a while, but my wife has never gotten on well with England, in fact she hates it here. And now 3.5 years down the line she is at the end of her tether with this country and desperately wants to go home. She didn't realize before she came here just how much she loves her country, her culture, her home. Being away from all she knows has made her feel empty inside, and the romantic visions of living in britain have just not been realized (Britain sucks immensely in many many ways!)


She has told me that she loves me, but she has to go, for her sake and mine, she's so homesick and it's making her depressed and angry and she's been getting more and more bitter and resentful. She's miserable in the UK and misses the US/her family/friends too much to stay here, i've known for a while now how sad she's been living here, i've slowly watched the spark in her disappear and i know that going home is the only thing that's going to fix that.


The problem is- Although i would leave the U.K in a heartbeat and move back with her...I can't!!


U.S federal immigration laws do not recognize same-sex relationships for immigration purposes.


It's so unfair that an american man can bring his foreign wife home, but an american woman can't bring her foreign wife home!


So once my wife goes back, that's it, game over for us. We can't go on doing the long distance thing forever, and there's no sign on the horizon of the immigration laws changing, so the best thing we can do is try to let go of this love and our marriage and move on with our lives.





I'm so in love with my wife, my world is going to be crushed without her here, and will miss her desperately once she's gone, but i want her to be happy again, so i have to let her go, despite the fact it's gonna make me so miserable being here without her





Has anyone got any tips to help me cope with losing the love of my life?Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?
You know you can apply for a work visa, have you even talked with someone about the logistics of obtaining a visa? or do you just don't want to move to the US? Think really hard about this I'm sure if you try hard enough you can find a way!Losing the love of your life to bureaucracy (Lesbian/Gay please read)?
You could both immigrate to Canada, it's close to the US and the culture is similar and they do recognize same sex marriage...
Try and find a gay couple in the same boat and get married to them. Get the green cards wait a couple years and get divorced. US immigration laws really suck!
Seriously? You say you love her, but just because of stupid laws you wouldn't go with her? She moved to your country, why not do the same for her for love's sake? I say good day.
I have friends coping with the same situation - they were married in Canada, then one was transferred to the US for work. Unfortunately, the best his partner could do was a 5-year visa, and once it's up, they're not sure if they'll be able to get it renewed unless he finds a job in the US that will sponsor him for his visa, but they're trying.





I think you should move here on the best visa you can get, and keep at it until you can find something that works.
move there anyway, wats the worst that could happen? u get deported? then ur in the UK anyway but at least u tried. fight the man! fight for love!

Do you feel your only truly connected to ONE person in your love life..?

I feel like you can only be truly in love with one person and no matter how hard you try, you can't move on whilst they're still in your life.





My man left me in February and although we've had so many problems and we've fought and argued til we've pulled each others souls apart, but nothing seems to fill the emptiness I feel without his touch.





I feel like only he alone can make me feel secure and loved; I cudn't imagine someone else touching me or kissing my lips..Will this feeling pass or am I always going to love someone who isn't in love with me back.





He's not misleading, he's told me he's not in love with me anymore, yet he's not seeing other people, I'm the only person he sleeps with and kisses but he can't commit to me.





I feel alone most nights and I feel like I want to kind of move on but without full closure, my heart won't let me.





Please help me, I'm dying inside.


xDo you feel your only truly connected to ONE person in your love life..?
Im sorry that you had to feel the cold heart in a rainy day. I don't believe that you are truly connected to one person in your love life. This just tells you. that this man, this guy, wasn't the right man for you. A greek philiospher said that we start life as a half cicle. our jobs as these halves is to find our matching part so you could be united with the perfect soulmate or person. This man just wasn't it, he couldn't mold into your life. Just take a deep breath hold on to what you think is love and let him go. you know that expression, ';there is always still fishsy out at sea.'; so go find him. stay happy... that guy...just totally missed the opurtunity to be with a great girl. Dont feel bad....just go out there and find your missing half!


:]]]Do you feel your only truly connected to ONE person in your love life..?
I think, like you, that we can only be in true love with one person at a time. Other people feel different though. I understand your need for closure. Im the same way. Without all info and answers its very difficult to move on. I think you should try to move on and the pain will definitely pass with time. Good luck
you only have one love as everyone but as you get older you learn by your mastakes and the next is even better than the first and its true.and special if not keep trying,theres the right one out 4 you promice
oh u poor girl, i cant help but time will if u let it.


sending healing vibes ur way %26amp; prayers that the pain u feel passes by soon
You are being used.


Drop him.
re: Do you feel your only truly connected to ONE person in your love life..?


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; By 'connected' do you mean that you both KNOW HOW to make a good relationship and are doing it - or do you mean CODEPENDENT?





I feel like you can only be truly in love with one person and no matter how hard you try, you can't move on whilst they're still in your life.


%26gt;%26gt; You are not writing about 'love' here........you are speaking of CODEPENDENCY - an emotional illness (look it up).





My man left me in February and although we've had so many problems and we've fought and argued til we've pulled each others souls apart, but nothing seems to fill the emptiness I feel without his touch.


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Yep, you are a victim of CODEPENDENCY - an unhealthy condition but cureable!





I feel like only he alone can make me feel secure and loved; I cudn't imagine someone else touching me or kissing my lips..Will this feeling pass or am I always going to love someone who isn't in love with me back.


%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; WOW! love someone who doesn't love you back - now, that's perfect description of the Codependent affliction!





He's not misleading, he's told me he's not in love with me anymore, yet he's not seeing other people, I'm the only person he sleeps with and kisses but he can't commit to me.


%26gt;%26gt; Codependents can neither commit nor do what's right even if they do commit!





I feel alone most nights and I feel like I want to kind of move on but without full closure, my heart won't let me.


%26gt;%26gt; Codependents can not move on or be at peace no matter what!





Please help me, I'm dying inside.


%26gt;%26gt; Get to work fixing your Codependent, bad self esteem, shame based condition!





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The only way you even have a chance of moving on, is by getting him completely out of your life. You'll never even start to get over him as long as you've got that glimmer of hope you are getting by having him there, even though you know he doesn't love you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but your heart will mend, and you can and will fall in love with someone else....and you'll wonder why you ever thought you couldn't have it again.
oh honey i feel for you! I think you have become very attached to this one guy but ask yourself why you had fights?





Would you say that the arguments resolved around his behaviour or yours? Can you think of any faults of your actions that he brought up that you now think was at the time out of order?





And most importantly do you trust him? It sounds like you split up over things that you are now thinking you could have changed but you cant keep lookin back.





What I suggest you do is use the problems you had as a template on how not to behave in the next relationship (because you sound passionate and people like yourself will probably find love again)





Did you date him for a long time (the longer the greater the attachment). Just be yourself , get out with girl frineds and enjoy life, once he realises you dont need him he will probably regret splitting with you.

When you forgive a person, is it okay not to have any dealing with that person after that?

I know the bible states: Then came Peter to him, and said Lord how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? I say not unto thee, until seven times, but until seventy times seven. I agree with that, but what if there is someone in your life that continuously does wrong things to you? When you forgive them is it okay to move on with your life? What if this person is a family member?When you forgive a person, is it okay not to have any dealing with that person after that?
The beauty of forgiveness is that the past remains in the past. God is so perfect that when we confess our sins to Him He not only forgives us but forgets our transgressions. He holds nothing against us.





For us humans it's not so easy. But we are to forgive others as the Lord has forgiven us. That means totally.





Peter thought he was being rather magnanimous by suggesting forgiveness seven times. But Jesus said whoa Peter! Why limit yourself? Make it 490 times. By that Jesus meant only to show the difference, not set a higher limit.





Yes, we are to move n with our lives, but that doesn't mean separation from those we forgive. If we must do that then have we really forgiven in our hearts? True love, the kind Jesus taught becomes evident when relationships are restored through forgiveness, not completely severed.When you forgive a person, is it okay not to have any dealing with that person after that?
continue to forgive. If you are in a different home, don't have to go out of your way to see them--(see them as God directs you to)





But always forgive, and with that--forget the wrong they did, the hardest part of the equation.





I have a family member, a son, who needs forgiveness often. I don't see him much but when I do, I forget all else and just love him.
Forgiving isn't about keeping them in your life. Forgiving is about releasing any anger or hurt you felt by the wrong-doing. By forgiving, you are saying that you no longer have hard feelings towards them. Which is actually more beneficial to you than it is to them. Negative emotions can wreak havoc on the human body and mind. If you don't want this person to be a part of your life, then it is completely okay to get rid of them.
Well, if they do something really bad and you can forgive them, then it's okay to draw back a little. As long as you can forgive them and not think bad of them because of what they did, that's fine. If it's a family member, you are going to see them a lot, so this might not be as possible. Just let them know that they hurt you in some way, and that you completely forgive them.
Forgiveness should not require you be around someone who causes you wrong, or someone who has hurt you. Sit them down for a talk and tell them that you forgive them of any past wrongs, apologize for any wrongs you've committed, and let them know that you no longer feel comfortable having them in your life because they have not changed their ways. At least, that's what I would do.
Good question.





To forgive is to stop blaming or absolve from payment so I'd say that if you try and avoid that person then you are still holding some ill feelings towards them. It's a tough one but in that light I'd have to say that it's not ok. You need to forgive and forget, and if happens again, too bad.





None are perfect and we need to consider how often we need forgiveness from others. Patience and tolerance friend.
first of all, it is very good to forgive a person because forgiving opens ways to the betterment of relations you should keep in touch till a certain time but if you feel that the person can cause some harm to you its okay to limit the conversations...


but try to forgive from the bottom of your heart and don't think bad about that person once you have forgiven!
I think that if you forgive, you should still be friendly towards the person but still be careful of getting in too deep because the Bible also wrns us to be as wise as serpents....so keep your eyes open and dont put yourself in a position for that person to wrong you again
Well, forgive them 490 times, then kill them.





Seriously though, spiritually speaking and all that, you're not a saint. Jesus, like any basically good person, expects you to try to be a good person, and forgive as much as you can. If you've exhausted your reserves of goodness, avoidance sounds like a good second choice.
Forgiving someone means letting go of what happened. It's a way of painting over the ugly parts and starting new.





Though it's okay to not FORGET what happened, not dealing with the person after ';forgiving'; him or her is pretty half-assed, don't you think?
Just because they are kin, does not mean that all is well once you have moved on. Sometimes that person has hurt us so much that it is just better to distance ourselves from them to protect or guard ourselves.
You can do what you want in regard to who you want to be around. I have cut family members out of my life and don't regret it.
i may forgive but stop dealing with this person. and that's me. no religion or bible is attach with my feelings for that matter.
Yes. You have no obligation to maintain a relationship with them.
What do you mean is it ';okay';? Okay by who? Only *you* can decide that.
no one suffers fools - forgiven or not

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Why is crying considered a weakness?

I don't see the problem here? It's just an emotion that you're expressing, and crying can be a way for you to cope, get in touch with how you feel at the moment, and some people feel better after they let the tears out. Once you're done crying, you calm down and move on with your life or problems!





I remember I would get punished and scolded for crying by my family, but I think you can still be a strong person and cry.Why is crying considered a weakness?
I guess we live in a world where we always have to project an image of confidence and being in control that we forget to stay in tune with our true feelings. And people who express their emotions are branded as weak. Even little boys are taught not to cry because 'only girls cry'.





Crying is just a natural bodily reaction to an intense emotion. Suppressing it means that you're in denial of your feelings. I always feel better after crying - after being aware of my emotions, I look for solutions and move on.Why is crying considered a weakness?
Crying is only to be done in private. I always cry though... it sucks and is embarrassing.
Crying when expressing genuine hurt (physical or emotional) or grieving is natural...for both men and women. There are many, however, who have no control over their emotions and will cry very easily. I think it shows a lack of self control and a potential weakness when it is something done in public.





It is also important to recognize that not all people feel better after they've had a good 'cry'. Myself, for example....crying makes me feel worse...and it drags out the negative emotion. When I am overwhelmed with an emotion I cannot stop it, but when given a choice, I would rather push through the feelings without crying.
A lot of people see it as letting your defenses down and not keeping 'a stiff upper lip'. People believe that if you let your defenses down then you will be vulnerable to getting hurt but I disagree.





Crying is good, simpyl just for helpign wash your eyes, as well as letting you express yourself. If you're around people you trust there is no chance of you getting hurt so I dont see the problem.
Any show of emotion is a weakness. Crying is the ultimate physical show of emotion.





I never yell at my kids for crying but I certainly yell at them for whining. I also believe that you can be strong and cry. I think it's all about tone of voice and body language.
crying doesn't make you weak it's just sometime pressure bust a pipe.
O.o what's wrong with your family?


I see nothing wrong with crying. It's human nature to cry.
You kind of came to your own conclusion there, which is great, and I agree! Crying is one of the best therapies. Sometimes you just need to cry. Holding emotions in, like men are ';supposed'; to do, can cause some serious emotional, psychological, and even physical problems later in life. Glad to see that you figured it out on your own.
I think that when you were younger you got scolded for crying because you were crying over something irrelevant, my parents used to always tell me crying won't make it go away. And well it's the truth. In some situations crying is a sign of weakness, others it is a sign of strength, it all depends on what is really going on. But I say you should be able to hold yourself together out in public, because ultimately crying is a sign that you have lost self control and you are letting all your emotions out, and from that stand point, it is weakness.

Alan Colmes, how has he changed your life?

Share your stories on how alan colmes changed your life.





Heres mine:


Growing up on the fields of Montana I had a bruteful life. Mother moved away to Las Vegas to pursue a acting career and left me with my alcoholic father and down syndrome sister. I flunked out of grade 9 and never went back. Needless to say my father gave me a bottle of wisky and kicked me out of the house, essentially disowning me. I decided to hitch hike a ride to north dakota and meet up with a aunt. Thats when everything changed....... As I hitched a ride with a trucker and climbed into the passenger seat something profound happened. I heard a voice, a voice like no other.





';who is that?'; I yelled to the trucker.


';well thats Alan Colmes! hes doing his radioshow'; he replied





I started to cry, my life had been so empty until that moment. I could feel the greatness of Colmes and from that day on I have become a man of virtue. I have since reconnected with my mother and we are building a museum dedicated to Colmes in Las Vegas.





Please share your testimonials..Alan Colmes, how has he changed your life?
I haven't had anything near that kind of epiphany.





Will there be a section about Colmes time as Obama's running mate (it won't be for a few years, though)?Alan Colmes, how has he changed your life?
I think you';r still on the whisky.

If your social life sucked and you had the chance to move would you take it?

In sixth grade I moved from a nice little sheltered town where everyone was friends with everyone and there was one movie theater to the suburbs of a bigger city. At first I lived the time of my life. I had a close knit group of girl friends and tons of guy friends too. For two years we went to sleepovers, lake trips, amusements parks, etc together. There were tons of pool and birthdAy parties! Then in the second semester of eighth grade something changed. It had been accumalaTing for the past years but I was too busy clinging on to the reminants of my past social life to notice. Our close group of friends split and I was forced to choose a side. It wasn't so obvious what had happened and instead of choosing some friends over the other I spread myself thinly trying to please everyone. All our past relationships evaporated and instead of moving on I stuck with these people hoping that we could all be friends again. It soon came to be that we didn't have 5 minutes worth of conversation left and I realized our entire ';friendship'; was based on fun, gossip and popularity. Now, freshman year I finally realized what was happening and I left the group. I didn't have many other friends but I finally found a group to sit with at lunch. Now I am close to some of them but not close enough for sleepovers, movies or anything. I know for sure, I don't know how, that these aren't people who will be my true blue friends. Even worse, the guy I liked and hung out with multiple times over the summer has an new girlfriend who he makes out with all through lunch (literly). I do really well in school, however, so now I have the option of moving to a new city with a better school and new people. I'm gonna stay through until the end of the semester but should I take a risk and switch schools?If your social life sucked and you had the chance to move would you take it?
Why not move if you have a chance to do just that; I mean face it if you are not happy where you are at then I say Go For It; At least in the new school you can start all over again ; you don't know anyone and noone knows you; so yes then Just Do ItIf your social life sucked and you had the chance to move would you take it?
i had the same option


but different reason to move


i decided to take it and found


out i was more comftorable there


so yea go for what the heart tells you
first of all.. things change after elementary... i had a huge group of friends in grade 7, but when highschool came, we all ended up going to different schools and eventually we all grew up and had different interests..





secondly, change can be a good thing.. if you don't like how things are going right now, i think it would be a cool idea to move and make a whole new set of friends with personalities similar to yours!





PS: you don't need that nasty guy that ';makes out all the time';.. that seems so trashy. ditch him, you'll meet someone better than that

Would you like to share a little insight with me?

It can be quote, a joke, a movie, a book, a random statement,etc.


You can even simply write how your day was today or how you feel. Perhaps even vent a bit. Whatever you want it can be about anything a word, a sentence, a paragraph, anything in the world. If you don't really feel like sharing just get your two points and move on with your life %26gt;.%26lt;Would you like to share a little insight with me?
I hated when Taco Bell started putting stuff like rice and potatoes in their burritos. What the hell is that all about? I also like cats. (But not in my burritos...)Would you like to share a little insight with me?
me and my friend were talking about batman and superman she said ';batman sucks';





';no he doesn't'; i responded





';super man could kick his bum any day';





';no way he's crap because batman would so just pull out kryptonite';





';he wouldn't get the chance to pull it out';





';Maybe he could but theirs one thing that would get right up superman鈥檚 nose';





';whats that';





';batman's doesn't have to be a alien to be cool'; that shut her up it was a pretty funny especially because shes 19 and i'm 17
I like:





';Yesterday's History, Tomorrow's a mystery, and Today's a gift, that's why they call it the present';


By Elinor Roosevelt ( idk if i spelled her name correctly )





And: If you fail to plan-you plan to fail


By i have no idea
I don't know any good jokes. :( Movies? Have you seen Surrogate? It was made last year. Had Bruce Willis in it. Good movie.
I try to avoid pooping in public restrooms
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
Dude I wanna see the movie Date Night! Lol it seems hilarious. I've never answered a question like this so I'm not sure what to say lol (:
Vote for Pedro.
ask me anything you want
I have a few favorite quotes. ';Strive not to be of success, but rather to be of value'; - Einstein; ';The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves'; - Sophocles; ';Our greatest glory is not in ever falling, but in getting up every time we do'; - Confucius.





My favorite movies aren't really worth much to list out, most of them are too popular; no ';hidden gems'; there. Except maybe my all time favorite, ';A Beautiful Mind';. It always felt special to me.





A book I can always recommend: ';Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'; by John Gray. It's not fiction, but if you want fiction, all I can offer is Clarke, Asimov, and Tolkien, which pretty much shows I'm a geek.





My day... Well, I'm giving my girlfriend ';space'; after our latest and biggest fight. We didn't used to fight, but for some reason we fight a lot now. It's slowly teaching me a lesson: go with the flow, let life take you where it will, because fighting it ends in pain. Yes, that makes for an uninspirational quote. But when the pain is too great, all you can do is quit fighting.





I can't recommend any games, but my latest favorite is Crysis. It looks incredible, even though it barely runs on my laptop. Awesome gameplay, too. I'm currently working on building a map. Can't wait til the sequel comes out.





If I have any advice to give to the population of Earth in general, it would be to not follow advice. Sounds like a joke, but I'm serious. Take it into consideration. Don't use it as rules, more as little hints and ideas to think about, because nothing ever completely applies to anybody.





A quote of my own: ';Perfection is an imperfection in itself';. Think about it. You might learn something. It applies to love and life in general.





Well, that's all. I was of the opinion you wanted something interesting to read. More than likely my idea was flawed, but whatever. I'm a flawed kind of guy. :) Then again, aren't we all?





- MrProgramX

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How as Alan Colmes changed your outlook on life?

Alan Colmes, how has he changed your life?


Share your stories on how alan colmes changed your life.





Heres mine:


Growing up on the fields of Montana I had a bruteful life. Mother moved away to Las Vegas to pursue a acting career and left me with my alcoholic father and down syndrome sister. I flunked out of grade 9 and never went back. Needless to say my father gave me a bottle of wisky and kicked me out of the house, essentially disowning me. I decided to hitch hike a ride to north dakota and meet up with a aunt. Thats when everything changed....... As I hitched a ride with a trucker and climbed into the passenger seat something profound happened. I heard a voice, a voice like no other.





';who is that?'; I yelled to the trucker.


';well thats Alan Colmes! hes doing his radioshow'; he replied





I started to cry, my life had been so empty until that moment. I could feel the greatness of Colmes and from that day on I have become a man of virtue. I have since reconnected with my mother and we are building a museum dedicated to Colmes in Las Vegas.





Please share your testimonials..How as Alan Colmes changed your outlook on life?
get a freaking life dude.How as Alan Colmes changed your outlook on life?
Yeah, I hate christians even more now after reading that dribble !


He should be run-out of town
confirmed worthless jew he is
Duh. I can hardly wait to read his blog!!!

How to deal with loosing the love of your life?

I dated this woman for 7 months, but yes she was married at the time we began talking. The relationship grew into falling in love and i knew that i found the love of my life. She told me that she felt the same way,but a month ago she called me and told me that she could not do this anymore, but yet she was in love with me. She told me that she needed to get this divorce over with and her schooling also. She told me that her mother did not approve of her divorce and wished she would not go through with it. I understand that she wants to please her mother and has the upmost respect for her, but i told that her that i understand. I asked her if her mother would give her children,lay down with her at night, tell her that she loves her or call her mama. I know that was a harsh comment,but she's 26 not 15 anymore.


I asked her how could she tell me that i am the love of her life and that she wanted to marry me and settle down, and then after not hearing from her for a week, tell me that she couldn't do this anymore. She told me that she didn't have time for a relationship but yet i see her around all the time going everywhere. I have never felt this way about any woman i have ever dated. I know in my heart that she is the love of my life.I cry myself to sleep every night, and it hurts.She has showed me what true love really is..


My question is ';Do I wait on her to get her life straight or move on';?..How to deal with loosing the love of your life?
Hey Hey! Watch with the 15. What do you know of being a 15 year old girl? Look, I maybe a 15 year old, but I know when to be mature or not. Anyway, back to your question. She does love you, I know that too. She respects her mother. The reason she said that she can't do that anymore is because the divorce that she can't go through, or because she's still scared to have a new marriage because maybe the marriage she's been to now is a trauma for her. Yes, she's in love with you, but it doesn't mean she's ready for the next marriage. If you let her go, she'll think and feel that being with you is the happiest thing of her life, so then she comes back to you and realize that she needs and wants you. Show her that you're there for her and that you do care about her situation. Don't be selfish and only think of how you feel, because she might be in a worse situation than yours. ';Love so free will stay; if you hold love, it'll fly away.';


The reason she's everywhere is maybe to refresh her mind and think all of this again and again.


I know it hurts, but you can't force somebody to marry you when they're not ready. What if you guys get married, and then she's not as happy as you thought she'll be. Once she's set, she'll come to you. Let me tell you a piece of an advice, do not ever give everything that you have, love or material, to a woman. Because once she breaks your heart, it's the most painful thing you'll ever feel. Just like how you're facing right now. Yes love her; but don't give her everything.


My friend is 17 who loves a 23 years old woman and got a heart broken with her. Now, he's life is pretty much a mess for him. But he has his friends, so he doesn't really have to worry so much.


If you want to wait, wait. If you want to move one, move one. Which do you prefer? Which do you think is worth the sacrifice? It's all in you, man.How to deal with loosing the love of your life?
See, I told you :) Don't take as if teenagers life is any better than yours. All of us have problems, but in a different way, of course. Don't ever take anybody's problem worse than yours, because you have no idea what they're going through. Just do what you gotta do. No pain, no gain, right? Enjoy.

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if you truly love her then wait. remember what a hard situation she is in. try to see it through her eyes. try to support her. appoligize for the harsh comment.
I think the truth of the matter was not totally told to you. Who knows for sure why she decided to leave? I would consider her motivations especially since she was still married, though seperated. I lost the love of my life about 6 months ago as well. She wanted to get married and discussed it numerous times up to a week before she left. I dont' miss her anymore although it took me many months to be able to love someone the way that they deserve. I had numerous sleepless nights, but someohow I knew that the relationship wasn't right. Maybe you feel that way too. What I can tell you is that this situation will get better for you. It'll be tough for a while. That toughness for me was around 3-4 months. I met a beautiful woman not long after that after dating others with which I just wasn't ready for a realtionship. I will say that I am actually happy that we ended out relationship so that I could find someone like my new love. You have to hang in there man. I realized that after the break, I needed something to help take my mind off of the situation. I played golf almost everyday and I went out and bought a motorcycle. It was enough of a distraction to help. I will admit to thinking about her almost every second I did those activities, except on the motorcycle because it demands total attention. Those activities teach you to focus on other things. I also recommend trying dating sites after a few months to see if you're ready for dating. Trust me, those are not a joke and there are many nice women on there looking for the same thing that you are. You have to give yourself time to heal from this and you will. There has been countless people who have gone and are going through the same thing you are right now. You aren't alone buddy. Wishing you the best.

Would you ever lie to your crush....?

And tell them that you had cancer, in order for them to realize how much they loved you, and then after you were supposed to be ';dead';, you just move on with your life, and have no regrets?





Like, I thought about doing that a couple of times, and telling the girl of my dreams, I have prostate cancer, so she can kiss me and stuff, and then when I am supposed to be ';dead'; I will be with a different girl.Would you ever lie to your crush....?
Um no


after a while, when they realized you were still alive, they'd be pretty mad at you.Would you ever lie to your crush....?
no. if i want someone to like me back i just be myself because i would want them to like me, not the lies that i said about myself.


lol, that's not something you should be doing btw.





~chocolate lover
No. I feel that honesty is very important in a relationship.
No
Nope.
lol no

How to move on?

After 8 months of being with the one you love in an amazing relationship to the point where you made that person your life, how do you move on. To top it all off you both want to be together, but your forced not to be because the love of your life must move back home 100 of miles away, due to not being able to support himself here. WHAT DO I DO , MY HEART IS IN A MILLION PEICES.How to move on?
Why don't you just move with him?How to move on?
how many loves do u have? love them both move in with both..
Are you willing to make a commitment for your love? Move with him. Abandon your job, your friends, your life and everything you know. And go. Just go.
The real question is... why isn't he able to support himself??? Is he moving back with his parents? Also, what does he say about moving far from you? Has he offered you to go with him?





Like everyone else before me has said... move close to his area ( I do not say with him cause I do not know if he;s moving back to his parents house). You could try the long distance thing but it will be difficult in the long as he might start getting his own social life and in the end it might end the relationship...





Think it through, discuss it with him... make your decision wisely...





Hope all goes well...
100 miles isn't that far. You guys can still meet for dinner a few night's a week. This will give you enough time to find a job closer to him and him time to find a job that he can support himself. I'm currently in a relationship to where my g/f is about 45miles away but i'm over another 50 miles from work. I commute to see her once a week and she does the same. Then on weekends we either stay at her's or mine. This is a little hard to do as well so you must be willing to trust one another and love one another. Try it first and see. I would think depending on your job and pay you may not want to leave there. So you must do what is right for you.
Either move with him or just let time heal your heart.
Go with him!!!! You never give up on the one true love, if it is really true love, you will follow him/her to the ends of the earth!
Not sure what your age is. But if you are a grown woman then I would offer my home to him. If you really love him, you two will stay together no matter what. If you're living with someone, it might be time to move out or you might lose a good thing 1000 miles away. What are you afraid of if this person makes you feel like he is your world? Hello????
If you love him THAT much...MOVE with him. That solves that problem!!
Love is too special to let it go because of geography. If it is that amazing, then find a way to go with him. 100 miles is not the end of the earth. I have driven farther to go to a restaurant for dinner.
100 miles is no distance. You can be together. Weekend meetings and distance between you on week days will make life thrilling and exciting. It will also allow you both freedom in your professional lives.





I will say Move On but together....


Think about those who, after coming together talk about space for themselves in their life
Take a breath and let it out. If you love him that much and want to be with him why move on. Just be with him. Let him move back and get a job then you go join him. If its meant to be then it will be. If you work (cause you haven't said) see if you can get a transfer. If you cant transfer then look on the net in that area and see if you can get a job there. If you really love someone than you are going to want to be with them not matter where they are.
long distance things are rough. correct me if im wrong but you sound a little young. just rememebr that if it was meant to be, then you would find a way. or maybe either of you are just not williing to go thru some really hard **** to be together. either case, just remember that you had a life before them, and you can have one after them.
how old are you? i believe that if its true love it can work no matter how far away you are. you have the Internet and phones you can write and maybe things can work out if your truly in love. love will find a way
move with him
If there is a committed love here - there should be not doubt but to follow!
100 miles is not that great a distance if your both truely love each other.
If you too love each other, when he moves, go with him!!! I feel in love with my guy online and we meet and I moved here to be with him, 310 miles away from all my family and friends, if you two are meant to be together and you love each other so much, your hearts will tell you what to do!!!
If the love is as strong as you say it is - nothing should be able to keep the two of you apart! Think it through and work it out! You have options! Not being together shouldn't be one of them!!
Can't you move with him? Or at least plan to move there once he gets settled?
I know how u feel but really in my opinion you will never get over them. once this person has your heart you can never get it back. youll find a way to be with this person trust me
Did it ever occur to either of you that you could move with him? Duh. Pack up your bags lady and follow the love of your life!

Your sister slept w/ur kids Dad...What would you do?

Ok, you're separated from your childs father and then after so many years he confronted you about this terrible act he did with your sister while you used to be together...You then confronted your sister and even with her denial you know deep in your heart that it was true...So the past is the past and you decided to let it all go and move on with your life...





Now with this whole chatting business and everyone reconnecting online...You find out that those two are communicating again...Meaning your sister and your Ex...How would you feel and what would you do?





PS: you have a long history with your ex...involving physical and mental abuse...shouldn't your sister be there for you after all?Your sister slept w/ur kids Dad...What would you do?
Slap the ****** ... she deserves it .Your sister slept w/ur kids Dad...What would you do?
First: As you said the past is in the past and let it go. You're no longer involved with the man.





Second: For your sister, she knows what you've been through I'm sure, and yet she's still going ahead. If she can't learn from the mistakes you committed getting to know this...let her find out for herself. She's got to learn her lesson.








Should she be there for you after all? She's free to chose what she wants to do. Period. No one has to feel compelled to do anything for anyone, even if it is a relative. It's about having a choice.





If you need someone to be there for you, rely on your friends, you sister is up to no good and she's going to experience your pain soon enough.
If this is your EX, what matter is it of your now??? Let it alone and as long as your sister is not getting beat up stay out of it. Move on
He's your ex, so you shouldn't bother with it. If your sister didn't learn from your experience with him, that will be her misery. Don't try to stop them; it will end someday and you will have your sister back.
honey it depends on how good your relationship with your sister was. If you two were close then by no means she should be in touch with your ex.. But if you were not that close to your ex or sister, then why are you bothering wether they chat,meet,sleep,whteva !! Just think about firstly what an idiot ur ex was and now think about the badluck your sister is goin to have by hooking up with such a moron,because every one is sweet and charming in the beginning,his true colours will show ,once she gets into a proper relationship with him !! you let go of your past and dont be defined by it.Keep moving on in your life and raise some rocking children,keep fit (focus on gettin a smokin body) and stay Happy !!
gurl u need to go on jerry springer wit dat mess!
You need to get over it and move on. It sounds like you are trying to justify some type of revengeful act.





abc
He's an EX. Who cares whom he's chatting with? It's all in the past, get over it. Your sister can be there for you, and still keep in touch with your ex if this is whom she's attracted to. That you and your ex had problems is not her fault - you were the one who married the jerk, stuck around, and had kids with him. She may be exercising bad judgement, but not as bad as yours. Get over your ex, and don't worry about what your sister is doing in her personal time... It's not worth losing sleep over.
beat her a**
I'm really sorry. Yes your sister ideally should be on yoru side but it doesn't sound like she is a good sister. She doesnt' sound loyal to you at all. You can't make her be a good sister, but now you know that she's not, and you can just stay away from her and dont' expect much from her, and only see her at family gatherings or when you can't avoid her.
jerry jerry maury get on some tv show try Oprah oprah that mess
Not much you can do about it..


Your sister certainly knows the history of your EX...


They are both adults...
let it go, let your sister learn the hard way. You should move on...
Whoa, I feel sorry for you. I would kick both their ***es.
This sounds really painful...I can't even imagine!


I have one brother only; however, family or not, I do not believe that I could forgive such a betrayal...a long time ago, my best friend slept with my boyfriend at the time...we talked about it later, we are still friends, but it took years...besides, we were 17, 18, not adults with kids involved or physical and mental abuse...yes, she is your sister, seems like she might get hurt, too...you need to be there when she needs help, but trust her again???
its their foolish act and decieving u in the disguise of relationship.


never forgive these kinds of acts.dont let u r child know about these incidents.
you sister deserves a low life like him let it go you are better than that
Take them on the Jerry Spranger Show. Let the whole world see how low down they are. Or else you could do the right thing, just forgive them, pray for them, then let God take care of them. God Bless.

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How did you give up your ex?

In my life I am getting to the point that I realize that I have to move on with my life. I can no longer go on things that are in the past. I have to focus on now. So what's your story...how or when did you realize that you had to move on with your life %26amp; not forget your ex but feel at peace with your descion about giving them up. Thanks





*God bless*How did you give up your ex?
We need to pray together, I am going through the same problem only I dont know wether to stay or move on. I tried moving on and it's really hard especially when children are involved both his and mine but not together. I am praying for the answer and the strength to do god's intent. Let me know if you find a way, inthe mean time just pray.How did you give up your ex?
The 2 of us were on different pages of our lives. I explained this to her. I was nice I told her I loved her and I did, very much! I knew however that it would not be good for ether of us to stay together. Yeah I admit it I cried a little, I cared about her. I knew however that it was the best for both of us and over a little time she did to, now we are friends.
i had a baby with a guy and for two years after i spent all my energy trying to make it work... it took me a while to realize that some things just won't and if they hadn't by then, then there was not point in exhausting my self about it...what made me finally see that we were just not meant to be was when i asked him what he saw for his future and the kind of life that he wanted to live...it was too different from my idea and it wasn't really anything i was willing to negotiate from then on i saw him in a completely differen't light and i began to see a lot of truths about him that i had been denying for 2+ years... i'll never forget him...i can't because he helped make my daughter but i no longer have that desire to MAKE it work...nor do i want to
Well, promise not to tell anyone but I killed my ex. I have a beautiful tree in the back yard that never needs to be fertilized. LOL Just kidding (Or am I?)
i'm still trying to get over him i'm in the bargaining stage its been 3 months
I asked that question a few months ago, too. It's a really difficult thing to do, and with me, I felt like it was impossible. My best advice to you is that if you are still friends with him...stop hanging out with him for awhile. Maybe start seeing some new people. That's what I did. I didn't find someone that I ended up loving as muvh as him, but it showed me that there are plenty of other wonderful people out there and sooner or later you're going to find one just right for you.


I try to have an optimistic view that everything happens for a reason. I think that's another thing that helped me though it.





I hope all goes well for you.


Best of luck :)
I gave up my ex when I realized that I was tired of being hurt, crying at night and making excuses for his behavior. I had to realize that there was someone out there that would cherish me, respect me, love me and treat me how I deserved to be treated. My ex was a very unfaithful man... he didn't deserve me and I deserved better. I must say that I am very much so at peace with my decision... I don't hate him at all... in fact, I wish him the best and that one day he will find someone that he can settle down with and be faithful to. Just because I wasn't the woman for him doesn't mean I don't want him to find happiness with someone else.
i opened the door and pushed her out of the car

How to get over abortion remorse?

I had an abortion around this time last year--and I can't seem to shake off the depression that entails. I know I made the right decision, but I can't help but beat myself up over it. Have any of you had similar situations? How were you able to move on with your life?How to get over abortion remorse?
I am sorry for your loss. We all do thing that we think are best at the time and later realize maybe we could have made better choices. Feel free to contact me if you want someone to listen in a non-judgmental way.How to get over abortion remorse?
Please don't beat yourself up.





I had one on June 4th of this year, and i cried and cried ... But then I remembered why i had it.





Don't get me wrong, I KNEW i didn't want the baby. My boyfriend was supportive of MY choice-but I knew he didn't want it either.


As it turned out, when i got the sonogram they give you right before the abortion, it had stopped growing and was probably deformed, so can you IMAGINE the life... throwing a baby out into the world with 2 young parents, probably handicapped... i believe if it witnessed my actions it knew it was the best one, and wouldn't of blamed me.





Remember girl, if you HAD the abortion, remember your reasons. Reinforce them into yourself and know that if you want to have a baby one day, you still can! and the time will be RIGHT.





I would love to talk to you ( i suck on these question things) my AIM is 'pajama x time' (dont ask..) ... i can possibly help you to feel better about your situation, there's NO reason for you to agonize !


i have moved on 320% !
I'm not going to give you the judeo-christian ehtic thing about 'murdering a child'. Yuo already feel baad enough. The only way you are going to get over this without anyone else putting your heart lower than it feels already is to find a good counselor that specializes in this type of depression. I have never been pregnant, so i can t say i know hwo you feel. I can understand depression, having to live with it all my life, and i can tell you a good counselor or therapist (TP) is the bes thing you ca ndo for ourself now. Before you dismiss the idea, sit back and think about it. It's not a sign of weakness to need help, it 's a sign of maturity and strength to ask. You ca ndo this; asking us here wasthe first step.
I have never been placed in a position to get an abortion or feel that I should.





I have tried to put myself in your place before and I found that I would never be able to go through with it. I feel that I would have to kill a part of myself just to kill my child and I know many people who have done that.





I know there are women (and men) who have said they look at school yards and say ';That could've been my child there playing'; and many always feel that void.





I do know a place that could help you though and you will see just how many people are hurting after their abortions. They will not judge you and they are very compassionate and helpful. I'm sure with their help you will be able to find some solace in your decision.





http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/
Ask yourself WHY you are sad! Is it from your religious beliefs? Is is from the loss of possibility?





I would say that you need to analyze the root-cause. If you made the right decision, you should not feel bad. If it is a loss of possibility, these things exist everywhere and everyday.





If it is from your religion - you need to examine your religion. Examine how it influences you.





My take = There is no higher purpose to anything, no reason - just events. We loose eggs every month. Get over it by realizing that if it were not for our past, our future would not be the way it is now. Try a therapist or counselor as a last resort. Speak to others. This is a good place for a bit of therapy - but there are nutbags on here too. Good luck!
Don't worry about all the discouraging answers. that is just there opinion. you did the right thing by getting an abortion. If you want to get over the blues just think about how much happier you and your bf will be and all the places you can now go and the good you did for the environment by not putting another consumer on the planet
first of all you didnt make the ';right'; decision.


no child deserves to die.


you should of put it up for adoption and gave it to a family that would actually love it.


but thats beside the point. the past is unchangeable.


my best advice to you is to get some professional help.


dont go through this alone. You need to see and counsaler and see what they think you should do. dont beat your self up for it. you were thinking about yourself and sometimes you have to think about yourself first,


maybe you should try church.


prayyy!
Sorry to tell you but all the people I know that've had abortions still regret it and it'll probably hurt for the rest of their lives. You ended a life that didn't ask to be created. Now you'll never know what could have been. It's only natural to feel that way. Talk to a counselor if you can or try to find some support groups online. Maybe find other girls that've had abortions to chat with. All pain gets better with time. Good luck.
It's hard to get over. The people I know that have had one regret it everyday! My friend remembers her due date and says '; my baby would of been _ yrs old today'; and gets sad! Just learn from your mistakes and don't make the same mistake twice!
i don't believe in abortion, but you already feel bad enough, so i'm not going to go off on you.


but, i think you most definitely need to seek counseling. it will help you get through everything.
I will not be judgemental, and I want to make you feel better. Think of it like this. When you go to heaven, your aborted child will be waiting there for you to give you a hug, forgive you, and love you.
if you never had that aborttion this question would never be asked..





that child is gunna haunt you for the rest of ur life..


that was a bad decision