Hello, I came to the United States when I was nine years old. Moving to the United States has changed my life dramatically. In both positive and negative ways; but unfortunately, it changed in more negative than positive ways. The United States was simply not how I imagined it to be. I was not accepted by the majority of the children in school. In fact, instead of making me feel welcomed, they looked at me weird and made fun of me for not speaking english. They also told me to go back to my country and judged me for any reasons. I just couldn't be myself. This made my confidence level drop dramatically. My social skills were completely recked. I became an extremely shy person and was afraid to socialize with anyone because I was afraid of being rejected, made fun of, or not being good enough. I didn't want to join any extra curricular activities or be involved in any school event. I felt extremely insecure. Shortly after that I fell into depression. I felt depressed and cried day and night asking God why my parents had brought me to such a terrible place. I asked him why he had made me the way I was and asked him to help me over and over again. Soon enough, I found out I felt inferior to everyone. Americans, Mexicans, Bosnians (Europeans in general), Hmongs, and every other race. Sure enough, I began to feel very much resentment against the American people and began to believe that they were the most cruel, rude, unrespectful, cold, and arrogant people I had ever met in my life. High School was the worst four years that I ever went through in my entire life. I went back to my country a few times and it helped me very much, it was like a therapy; but coming back was an automatic self-esteem drop. I graduated two years ago and have been working and going to school. Now I seem to be feeling better and I seem to be overcoming many things and my confidence and self esteem levels seem to be growing. The resentment against the American people has been dropping; but very little. I am now planning on going back to my country for a year. I believe this will help me in many different ways. I am planning on taking a few courses there that might help me in what I want and then depending on how things go; decide to stay or come back. But even though I might overcome many difficulties and many frightening feelings, I know that I will never be the same person that I was before I moved here. I know that I was changed completely and I am afraid of not being able to show my fullest potential and abilities in the things I want to do; due to everything I went through.. My question is: If you are a foreigner; how do you feel about moving to the United States? How has your life changed? Are you happy here? What have you done to overcome your fears?How has moving to the United States changed your life? Are you happy here?
I am not a foreigner but i'm sorry you had such a hard time adjusting. what don't kill you makes you stronger. not all americans are the same.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How do you get over the person you thought was the love of your life?
I once was in love with a boy that I thought was in love with me. Turns out he wasn't but I'm still in love with him. I want someone to tell me how do I get over him and move on when I still love him??How do you get over the person you thought was the love of your life?
Girl go out meet new people and do new things, to keep him of your mind. Just keep telling your self that he was not the one for you and that he never love me is what you say to your self!
Say this to God: This Too Shall Pass
That Means that all that heart ache that your having, God will that feeling of being heartbroken, and help you get over him! Open your eyes their may someone that looking to love you but you will not see him no time soon because you still love that lame!How do you get over the person you thought was the love of your life?
We kind of always want what we can't have. Love is not supposed to make you unhappy.
you need to keep in mind that there are always other fish in the river....if he doesn't want to be caught, then try looking for others
Well its going to be very hard. Because feels can be very strong and take u time get get over.Try doing a different rountine and do things thats going to take ur mind of him. Pray also to God and let him know ur fears and hurt. He will help u better than anybody else. Because I think u will get the same response from people but Gods will be much different. God Bless.
take things day by day and just hold on. do something to try to keep your mind off him. turn to your friends and family for support, maybe you can talk to someone you trust about your feelings. remember that you don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about you and will not give you the same care and devotion as you would to him. there must be someone else out there who would be better for you, and will love you the way you deserve to be loved. it's easy to say, but difficult to do, but one day, you will be your old self again, and you won't need him.
Only time can do that. Also I think making a decision to get over it. For years I was crazy about a guy that for me was 'the one' it never did work out but I used to dream about him all the time. I got married to a wonderful guy, but still sometimes I would dream about this other guy and wonder how things would have been with him. Especially when my hubby and I would have disagreements. Then one day I realized that it was crazy for me to be longing for something that didn't even exist. That dream with him was nothing but a fantasy in my mind of what I thought perfect would be. I decided then and there that was crazy to waste my time on that. I have a wonderful husband here with me and I loved him. So I decided to throw that fantasy out and when I made that decision, like that it was gone. So I say just make the decision to get over it and you will.
you find happiness somewhere else, if he truly was your true love then you will never forget him but just remeber the good times that the two of you had, there's a song ';I Pray'; by amanda perez, its not religous, just listen to it, its about not being with your true love
you can't really get over someone that your in love with, but you could find somethings that will let you forget about him.
I dated a guy for 3 months and fell head over heels in love. Then I found out that he cheated on me. I ended the relationship almost 5 yrs ago. I am still not over him. I still think about him everyday and I still love him just as much as I did the first day we met. He hurt me bad and that was enough for me. I dont want to live my life loving a man you didnt love me back. I have moved on and been with my current bf for almost 4 yrs. But still not a day goes by that I dont think of my ex. Good luck with this one.
listen ok don't if u love him tell yourself and let him now how must u care thats the best thing to say
Girl go out meet new people and do new things, to keep him of your mind. Just keep telling your self that he was not the one for you and that he never love me is what you say to your self!
Say this to God: This Too Shall Pass
That Means that all that heart ache that your having, God will that feeling of being heartbroken, and help you get over him! Open your eyes their may someone that looking to love you but you will not see him no time soon because you still love that lame!How do you get over the person you thought was the love of your life?
We kind of always want what we can't have. Love is not supposed to make you unhappy.
you need to keep in mind that there are always other fish in the river....if he doesn't want to be caught, then try looking for others
Well its going to be very hard. Because feels can be very strong and take u time get get over.Try doing a different rountine and do things thats going to take ur mind of him. Pray also to God and let him know ur fears and hurt. He will help u better than anybody else. Because I think u will get the same response from people but Gods will be much different. God Bless.
take things day by day and just hold on. do something to try to keep your mind off him. turn to your friends and family for support, maybe you can talk to someone you trust about your feelings. remember that you don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about you and will not give you the same care and devotion as you would to him. there must be someone else out there who would be better for you, and will love you the way you deserve to be loved. it's easy to say, but difficult to do, but one day, you will be your old self again, and you won't need him.
Only time can do that. Also I think making a decision to get over it. For years I was crazy about a guy that for me was 'the one' it never did work out but I used to dream about him all the time. I got married to a wonderful guy, but still sometimes I would dream about this other guy and wonder how things would have been with him. Especially when my hubby and I would have disagreements. Then one day I realized that it was crazy for me to be longing for something that didn't even exist. That dream with him was nothing but a fantasy in my mind of what I thought perfect would be. I decided then and there that was crazy to waste my time on that. I have a wonderful husband here with me and I loved him. So I decided to throw that fantasy out and when I made that decision, like that it was gone. So I say just make the decision to get over it and you will.
you find happiness somewhere else, if he truly was your true love then you will never forget him but just remeber the good times that the two of you had, there's a song ';I Pray'; by amanda perez, its not religous, just listen to it, its about not being with your true love
you can't really get over someone that your in love with, but you could find somethings that will let you forget about him.
I dated a guy for 3 months and fell head over heels in love. Then I found out that he cheated on me. I ended the relationship almost 5 yrs ago. I am still not over him. I still think about him everyday and I still love him just as much as I did the first day we met. He hurt me bad and that was enough for me. I dont want to live my life loving a man you didnt love me back. I have moved on and been with my current bf for almost 4 yrs. But still not a day goes by that I dont think of my ex. Good luck with this one.
listen ok don't if u love him tell yourself and let him now how must u care thats the best thing to say
How do you get over a 2 year relationship?
My boyfriend and I of two years are going our separate ways. It's killing me, absolutely killing me. And I want this pain to go away. Any thing that's ever helped you get over someone, and move on with your life. Please, any suggestions.How do you get over a 2 year relationship?
Time will heal all wounds, I'm sure you'll hear this for the rest of your life, but it couldn't be more true.
Also, spend a lot of time with your girlfriends. Keep yourself busy, do things you couldn't do when you were in a relationship, but seemed fun.
I'm sorry about your break up and I can only imagine the amount of pain you must be enduring. Go rent some really funny movies, and invite the girls over.
In time, it'll get better.
=/How do you get over a 2 year relationship?
first make sure that you fully admit that it's over, don't look at any pictures of him in real life or on myspace and keep contact with him to an absolute minimum (none if possible)
then focus on something ELSE that you love such as a sport, an instrument, or anything, if you have nothing then FIND SOMETHING, get good at something, what always helped me was to start really focusing on my appearance and guitar playing, by looking in the mirror and being able to tell myself that i was the hottest most talented guy around i was able to feel MUCH better about what i'd lost, if you stick to whatever routine you decide then your pain will be gone within a month or so, trust me ;)
I just got out of a ten year relationship that turned really bad the last couple of years. It's really hard but maybe try reinventing yourself. Dye your hair or do something to redefine your appearance. Try to find a new hobby that won't remind you of him. Go on casual dates. The main thing that has helped me is convincing myself that I don't want to be ';that girl'; that always has a boyfriend. Single girls rock. I've always envied those girls that seem too good to have boyfriends and have so much fun being single. It's so liberating.
Well I was with my ex-boyfriend for 2 years, and it still hurts every time I see a car that looks like his, I start feeling sad, its like everything reminds me of him, but what has helped is that I started back exercising so I could feel good about myself for the next relationship, I went shopping, got my hair done, hung out with my girlfriends, dated other guys, and I thought about all the thing I dislike about my ex-boyfirend, and then laughed because now the new girl has to deal with it. Lastly I cried, memoried the good times, and let go and act like he never exited, but honestly only time will heal your pain.
Take a few days to sit around and mope,cry,feel sorry for yourself, throw a complete pity party if you have to.
Do that for a few days until you grow the willpower to motivate yourself into getting over him.
You absolutely have to engrave it in your head, that feeling sorry for yourself is not a life, it's not the right way to live.
You have to remind yourself that you can do better.
And I know it sounds cliche,but when you finally grow this willpower,
don't get into anything serious, but casually date around.
Try new things.Eat new things. Give your life a little upgrade.
Change your style a bit.
Keep your mind focused on something else,but don't stress yourself.
Basically,it's out of sight, out of mind.
As you're trying new things, you begin to realize what you may have missed out on with your former lover
and believe it or not..you might actually be better off.
Only when you love yourself is when you're fully ready to love someone new.
Trust me =)
I've taken this advice,and I'm happy single or with someone.
the joys of being free-spirited.
This happened to me with my boyfriend of 13 months. Now whatever you do DO NOT get into another relationship or start dating other people right away. You're in that vulnerable state right now in which every ';wow your a nice girl, he don't know what he's missing'; talk will sweep you off your feet in a heart beat. Take some me time out for yourself. Go do some stuff you love to do by yourself or with your closest friends. Focus on you and remember you have a lot to offer. Too bad he couldn't see that.
Have a good cry for ONE day. Then get rid of stuff that reminds you of him. If you don't want to pitch everything, put it in a box in the back of your closet and don't open it. This is any picture, letters, gifts etc. His sweatshirt you sleep in and all of that kind of stuff. Get it out of your sight and stop focusing on it. If you have old emails put them in a folder by themselves and don't look at them or you can delete them all.
Then spend the next day for yourself. Go out with friends. Go shopping, go to a spa, go get hair/nails done; anything you like to do. Put on something sexy and flirt with other guys. This will not be easy at first and you won't want to do it at all. Do it anyway. There's nothing like a new interest to help you forget an old one. But you can't get to that new interest if you're obsessing over the old one.
Time is the only thing that will lessen the pain. However, after you are done crying over the break up; meeting someone new will help you forget about the last boyfriend. It really is best to move on. Don't dwell on this relationship too much. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Try to find things to do with friends and family until you no longer feel sad.
this actually happened to me.
uhm well it was reallly hard. but i did everything the wrong way.
stay away from his friends. i actually dated my ex of two years bestfriends and that did not help at all cos all they could do was remind me of him. i befriended his sister. that did not help. i went sycho. i wanted him back, but the best thing to do is have fun and enjoy life and date other people. maybe...he might come back to you as time goes by. i changed over the course of a year and me and him are back together. it all deals with the matter of time. god bless...
Everyone is different though? So there are many options depending on which kinda of person you are, you can drink, find someone else, sleep it off, eat alot, play video games... Or you can face it. Accept it and move on. If you are still too confused because the wound is too fresh, then just wait and give it time. You will get over it one day. Good luck! and no.. I don't agree to drinking or using another person as a substitute..
Sorry to hear that even tho I don't no u but I no its gonna take a while I feel ur pain but don't let that stop urlife u what I mean its a better guy out there better then him that will love u and treat u like a girl is suppose to be treated by a boy so go shopping out to eat hanging with friends and family just do something hey u can even get a job
Burn all pictures, momentos, flowers, anything left over that reminds you of him or just put them in a storage container in the attic...Take all songs relevant to him off ur ipod...Reinvent yourself...Give yourself a new look hair, makeup, skin wise...Go to a department store and have a sales person do it, its free!! Pick up a good book, hes just not that into you is a perfect one...Find inner peace, meditate or go pray....... And write on piece of apper all the fabulous things about you and hang it near a mirror and read one good thing to yourself each day as you wake!!! Ive beent here never give up on yourself!!
THE HARDEST PART OF LIFE IS BEING WITH SOMEONE FOR SO LONG AND HAVING IT END JUST LIKE THAT.RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO HARD TO GET OVER.NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY THAT PAIN AND FEELING WILL ALWAYS BE THERE SOME WHERE IN YOUR HEART. ESPECIALLY THAT IT WAS A 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP...ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY ITS SO EASY TO GET OVER SOMEONE EVEN IF THE RELATIONSHIP WAS LONGER..BUT THE ANSWERR IS NO..NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY NO MATTER WHO UR DATING NO MATTER IF UR NEXT SOMEONE HAS MADE IT GO AWAY..DEEP DOWN INSIDE U KNOW THAT THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING AND UR ALWAYS GONNA HAVE A PIECE OF IT..IT WILL TAKE DAY MOTHS AND YEARS BUT U WILL ALWAYS LOOK BACK ON THAT AND ASK YOURSELF WHY..THE BEST THING TO REALLY DO IS JUST GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE EACH STEP AT A TIME..ITS GONNA BE HARD BUT YOUR GONNA HAVE TO DO IT...LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE U HAVE LIVED IT BEFORE..U WILL ALWAYS HAVE MEMORIESSS BUT I WONT BE THAT BAD AFTER A WHILE..UR BRAVE U HAVE A GREAT HEART JUST KEEP YOURSELF IN MIND THAT EVEN WITH ALL THE PAIN U WILL MAKE IT THROUGH :)
The heartbreak of a breakup is always unbearable the first few weeks...but time will make things better. Trust me. You need to busy yourself up with other friends..go to movies and shopping and just keep yourself busy.
that happened to me a while ago.. and I will admit it took time. let it go and only time can heal your wounds.. sorry to hear about your breakup
I'm sorry about your break up. I know it hurts now....but in time it'll heal. Just don't think about it too much. Keep yourself busy...
Time will heal all wounds, I'm sure you'll hear this for the rest of your life, but it couldn't be more true.
Also, spend a lot of time with your girlfriends. Keep yourself busy, do things you couldn't do when you were in a relationship, but seemed fun.
I'm sorry about your break up and I can only imagine the amount of pain you must be enduring. Go rent some really funny movies, and invite the girls over.
In time, it'll get better.
=/How do you get over a 2 year relationship?
first make sure that you fully admit that it's over, don't look at any pictures of him in real life or on myspace and keep contact with him to an absolute minimum (none if possible)
then focus on something ELSE that you love such as a sport, an instrument, or anything, if you have nothing then FIND SOMETHING, get good at something, what always helped me was to start really focusing on my appearance and guitar playing, by looking in the mirror and being able to tell myself that i was the hottest most talented guy around i was able to feel MUCH better about what i'd lost, if you stick to whatever routine you decide then your pain will be gone within a month or so, trust me ;)
I just got out of a ten year relationship that turned really bad the last couple of years. It's really hard but maybe try reinventing yourself. Dye your hair or do something to redefine your appearance. Try to find a new hobby that won't remind you of him. Go on casual dates. The main thing that has helped me is convincing myself that I don't want to be ';that girl'; that always has a boyfriend. Single girls rock. I've always envied those girls that seem too good to have boyfriends and have so much fun being single. It's so liberating.
Well I was with my ex-boyfriend for 2 years, and it still hurts every time I see a car that looks like his, I start feeling sad, its like everything reminds me of him, but what has helped is that I started back exercising so I could feel good about myself for the next relationship, I went shopping, got my hair done, hung out with my girlfriends, dated other guys, and I thought about all the thing I dislike about my ex-boyfirend, and then laughed because now the new girl has to deal with it. Lastly I cried, memoried the good times, and let go and act like he never exited, but honestly only time will heal your pain.
Take a few days to sit around and mope,cry,feel sorry for yourself, throw a complete pity party if you have to.
Do that for a few days until you grow the willpower to motivate yourself into getting over him.
You absolutely have to engrave it in your head, that feeling sorry for yourself is not a life, it's not the right way to live.
You have to remind yourself that you can do better.
And I know it sounds cliche,but when you finally grow this willpower,
don't get into anything serious, but casually date around.
Try new things.Eat new things. Give your life a little upgrade.
Change your style a bit.
Keep your mind focused on something else,but don't stress yourself.
Basically,it's out of sight, out of mind.
As you're trying new things, you begin to realize what you may have missed out on with your former lover
and believe it or not..you might actually be better off.
Only when you love yourself is when you're fully ready to love someone new.
Trust me =)
I've taken this advice,and I'm happy single or with someone.
the joys of being free-spirited.
This happened to me with my boyfriend of 13 months. Now whatever you do DO NOT get into another relationship or start dating other people right away. You're in that vulnerable state right now in which every ';wow your a nice girl, he don't know what he's missing'; talk will sweep you off your feet in a heart beat. Take some me time out for yourself. Go do some stuff you love to do by yourself or with your closest friends. Focus on you and remember you have a lot to offer. Too bad he couldn't see that.
Have a good cry for ONE day. Then get rid of stuff that reminds you of him. If you don't want to pitch everything, put it in a box in the back of your closet and don't open it. This is any picture, letters, gifts etc. His sweatshirt you sleep in and all of that kind of stuff. Get it out of your sight and stop focusing on it. If you have old emails put them in a folder by themselves and don't look at them or you can delete them all.
Then spend the next day for yourself. Go out with friends. Go shopping, go to a spa, go get hair/nails done; anything you like to do. Put on something sexy and flirt with other guys. This will not be easy at first and you won't want to do it at all. Do it anyway. There's nothing like a new interest to help you forget an old one. But you can't get to that new interest if you're obsessing over the old one.
Time is the only thing that will lessen the pain. However, after you are done crying over the break up; meeting someone new will help you forget about the last boyfriend. It really is best to move on. Don't dwell on this relationship too much. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Try to find things to do with friends and family until you no longer feel sad.
this actually happened to me.
uhm well it was reallly hard. but i did everything the wrong way.
stay away from his friends. i actually dated my ex of two years bestfriends and that did not help at all cos all they could do was remind me of him. i befriended his sister. that did not help. i went sycho. i wanted him back, but the best thing to do is have fun and enjoy life and date other people. maybe...he might come back to you as time goes by. i changed over the course of a year and me and him are back together. it all deals with the matter of time. god bless...
Everyone is different though? So there are many options depending on which kinda of person you are, you can drink, find someone else, sleep it off, eat alot, play video games... Or you can face it. Accept it and move on. If you are still too confused because the wound is too fresh, then just wait and give it time. You will get over it one day. Good luck! and no.. I don't agree to drinking or using another person as a substitute..
Sorry to hear that even tho I don't no u but I no its gonna take a while I feel ur pain but don't let that stop urlife u what I mean its a better guy out there better then him that will love u and treat u like a girl is suppose to be treated by a boy so go shopping out to eat hanging with friends and family just do something hey u can even get a job
Burn all pictures, momentos, flowers, anything left over that reminds you of him or just put them in a storage container in the attic...Take all songs relevant to him off ur ipod...Reinvent yourself...Give yourself a new look hair, makeup, skin wise...Go to a department store and have a sales person do it, its free!! Pick up a good book, hes just not that into you is a perfect one...Find inner peace, meditate or go pray....... And write on piece of apper all the fabulous things about you and hang it near a mirror and read one good thing to yourself each day as you wake!!! Ive beent here never give up on yourself!!
THE HARDEST PART OF LIFE IS BEING WITH SOMEONE FOR SO LONG AND HAVING IT END JUST LIKE THAT.RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO HARD TO GET OVER.NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY THAT PAIN AND FEELING WILL ALWAYS BE THERE SOME WHERE IN YOUR HEART. ESPECIALLY THAT IT WAS A 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP...ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY ITS SO EASY TO GET OVER SOMEONE EVEN IF THE RELATIONSHIP WAS LONGER..BUT THE ANSWERR IS NO..NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY NO MATTER WHO UR DATING NO MATTER IF UR NEXT SOMEONE HAS MADE IT GO AWAY..DEEP DOWN INSIDE U KNOW THAT THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING AND UR ALWAYS GONNA HAVE A PIECE OF IT..IT WILL TAKE DAY MOTHS AND YEARS BUT U WILL ALWAYS LOOK BACK ON THAT AND ASK YOURSELF WHY..THE BEST THING TO REALLY DO IS JUST GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE EACH STEP AT A TIME..ITS GONNA BE HARD BUT YOUR GONNA HAVE TO DO IT...LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE U HAVE LIVED IT BEFORE..U WILL ALWAYS HAVE MEMORIESSS BUT I WONT BE THAT BAD AFTER A WHILE..UR BRAVE U HAVE A GREAT HEART JUST KEEP YOURSELF IN MIND THAT EVEN WITH ALL THE PAIN U WILL MAKE IT THROUGH :)
The heartbreak of a breakup is always unbearable the first few weeks...but time will make things better. Trust me. You need to busy yourself up with other friends..go to movies and shopping and just keep yourself busy.
that happened to me a while ago.. and I will admit it took time. let it go and only time can heal your wounds.. sorry to hear about your breakup
I'm sorry about your break up. I know it hurts now....but in time it'll heal. Just don't think about it too much. Keep yourself busy...
What does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?
ruined my hopes, my dreams and oppurtunities on purpous....because this is what i think at times.
when i think about how i was abused, traumatised, victimized, bullied growing up at the hands of others around me...then because of all this i got mental health problems....
then i went off the rails then and committed a crime got in with the wrong crowd...then the system locked me up, put me through the psychiatric system and the jail system..messing my life up , giving me unwanted labels %26amp; a crim record i never wanted...which will in turn in the present effect me trying to achieve my goals %26amp; aspirations...employment oppurtunities..emmigration oppurtunities ( because that is my number 1 ambition, to move away from the uk)~
and originally all this wasnt my fault, i was a product of my environment..
so can anyone understand that at the age of 30 now i feel people, society ,the system,or whatever has ruined my life on purpous?
i have bpd to,i feel theyve brandished me now %26amp; im ruinedWhat does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?
you have today to start over.
get past the blame thing and own your life.
if you made bad choices, so be it. we all screw up.
no one is ';out to get you';.
you are in control to make your future what you want it to be.
bpd2What does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?
Its easy to blame others, but you will not succeed until you take responsibility for your own life. I know its tough when your upbringing has been bad and when you have made mistakes but you must put that behind you, grab life with both hands and make of it what you want. Make sure that your bi polar is being treated properly, once that is under control you will feel better. There is no concerted effort by people or institutions to spoil your life, but there are plenty of organisations that will want to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Look at the Princes Trust, they help people like yourself who have a desire to improve their own lot in life. Work at it, you can succeed. You are not ruined!
It sounds to me like you've had a lot of bad experiences and have made a lot of bad choices. The only way for you to fix your life is to take responsibility for it. The more you blame everyone else, the less you are doing to make it more positive. You don't have a criminal record you never wanted, you have a criminal record you earned by performing criminal acts. Take responsibility.
Be thankful for what you DO have and focus on that.
Thank goodness you found out so early about BPD. My husband was ill all his life, and didn't KNOW what was the matter. He drank, to feel better and made it worse. He was 62 before he figured out what was wrong and got on meds. He takes them like communion now, every day.
If you are not seeing a mental health professional, and taking your meds like religion, start right now.
My son is paranoid schizophrenic and has been through what you are describing. He just got out of one year in jail for assault.
Someone loves you, somewhere. I won't believe that anyone ruined your life on purpose.
You are acting like a victim, and so everything that happens you see as a victim. You have to TURN that around yourself. Try to assume that other people don't even notice you! Try to assume they are busy with their own lives and mean you no harm. They are just clueless to your situation.
Try to forgive them and you and move forward. Every day, try to make some progress. Make a few calls, go to the library and do some research. Write down ideas you have to get out of UK.
At some point, even people with BPD have to be responsible for what happens NOW! You know you have to be on meds and talking to a counsellor. YOu know you have to be sober. You know you need to reach out to people who care about you, and tell them you are ok, and taking steps to get better.
You know these things to be true, and if you do not do them, you are going to continue your downward spiral. You will get sicker and sicker. Help is on the way, but you have to reach out.
Anyone with BPD should be able to get on disability and make a paycheck. Make some calls to local mental health office and ASK them what can be done to help you. You may have to go in and fill out papers or go to an interview. Whatever it is, DO IT!
Please understand that you have been given this strange illness,and that is one fact you know.
You can let it kick your butt, and make you a mess and ruin your life, or you can CHOOSE to take action to control your symptoms. YOU can decide. There is power in accepting that .
Get in any sort of talk group you can, to help you with these feelings of victimhood, and being helpless. They are just feelings. You don't have to let them be ALL you are.
Please take care of yourself and call your mother.
Good luck.
you need to move on, forgive and forget and take the good out of all your experiences and life lessons, they were your choices, learn from them and let it go.
The fact that you recognize all this is a great start toward changing your life! In some ways, all of us are victims of society... but some even more than others, unfortunately. There is so much wrong with the world and the way things are operating right now, and we feel so helpless to do anything about it sometimes. But what you can do is put those feelings to good use... to change your life, to do what you can, to fight for justice and speak out about your experiences and what you see is going wrong. It's horrible what has happened to you, and it's unfair... but perhaps it has made you stronger and given you wisdom that you can share with this world.
You're not ruined at all... only if you let yourself believe that. You've survived, and you can make a fresh start now. The thoughts in your own mind are what really affects things, so don't you believe that you're ruined! You really aren't... you're still alive, and it's a new day.
I hope you can get back up on your feet and fight the good fight, and share what you've learned with the rest of us, and others who may be going through similar problems in life. You may be able to help many others because of what you've experienced and learned.
paranoid schizophrenia or post traumatic stress disorder. because you are bipolar, you may feel this way from time to time. You definately need to talk to a counselor. Try to stay away from antidepressants or antipsychoic medication unless you feel you are a danger to yourself or other people.
you have my full empathy, I fel so sad reading your posts becos you remind me so much of my own similiar problems or problems I had in the past...life is tough sometimes but we get tougher..
it's the system that labels %26amp; puts somewhat innocent people(becos they're the easy ones to catch) %26amp; the real criminals, who ruin people's lives %26amp; psychologically damage %26amp; abuse us, get away with murder..
it doesn't matter what people think, who gives a rat's *** about these people? they don't care about us %26amp; they certainly don't want the best for us, so why should we worry what they think? it's none of our business anyways what they tink...
what is important is what you think about yourself %26amp; what is the TRUTH...you know in truth you;re a good person %26amp; no-one can change that but yourself...the truth always comes out, rmemebr always, so don't worry about a bunch of ignorant people judging you, if we had to judge them, I'm sure we'd find lots of things...
if you can belive what you think about yourself is more imprtant than what others think (%26amp; it is much more important), then you'll win...
look at everything that has happened (%26amp; everything that does happen to you in life) to teach you sth, always ask, what is the lesson here? I know that is difficult sometimes becos we can't always find the answer, but once you ask the question, the answers will come to you...
in my (humble)opinion, this is life teaching you to become stronger, once you become stronger, these things will stop or go away for good...
be strong...
God bless you...
PS%26gt; please feel free to email me anytime if you need to chat.u'll always have a friend in me...
Society controls us all. I can buy a piece of ground, thirty to forty acres. I want to build houses on it, I can not build a house on a three hundred by four hundred foot lots. I have to build on three to five acre plots. Rules and laws are what we live by, if you don't like them it is up to you to change them. I stand and rail against a wall but that wall will not move or fall, it only angers others and makes me feel bad. I don't like that!!!
see a doctor
sounds like you did it to yourself (i dont mean to be blunt)
yeah its a shame that someone abused you and all but you are a product of yourself not a product of your surroundings, you have complete control over what happens to you in your furture. Yes you are 30 but if you live to 100 thats 70 years to make a difference.
take control of yourself and your life and make that difference. I wish you luck.
I suggest that you begin therapy with someone that you feel comfortable and specializes in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder so that these events do not need to continue to dominate your life.
Go get some counselling.I had a terrible upbringing,but fortunately never resorted to crime.U need help to deal with the issues that made you who you are.Once you learn from these,u can start to enjoy your life again.U can get meds for BPD,see your doctor.I sincerely hope you get ur life back on track.We can all change hun,but it takes courage too. :)
A teacher is a very noble profession. A mentor is also a teacher and is more than just a teacher too.
A mentor is someone that has failed. A mentor is someone that has made bad choices, hurt others, and been at the bottom. The mentor will make it his or her goal to be a positive example to another person. They are this positive example by sharing where he or she went wrong and the consequences of their bad choices. Then the mentor will do their best to steer another person away from the direction they went and help them take the first step toward bettering their lives.
I suggest you get involved in a Church or volunteer group that offers those such as yourself to work in the community to make it better.
Forgivness is free but trust has to be earned. I would do my best to be a good and dependable employee even if the job ';sucks.'; Then I would be dependable and honest with those I am friends with and with the groups I volunteer with.
There is always a need in every community. But remember it takes time to build healthy relationships with our community, Church, friends, employers, and our families. Folks need to see evidence and this is up to us to provide it.
Remember not everyone will be willing to be your friend and some will be sort of supicious and even scared to. This is where you must have the confidence in yourself to do your best.
Start in your home. Then in a church or group. Then on your job. Be consistent. It is not easy and often discouraging. But when the time comes where you made a difference in someone else's life by taking your failures and offering a way of success in some other person's life the reward you have in your heart is worth more than what money could ever buy.
It takes time, persistence, dedication, patience, and forgivness.
IT's called paranoia and failing to accept responbility for your actions. You don't have a corner on the grief market, buddy. If you think that you're the only one out there who got some bad breaks early in life you are wrong. Tragic events ARE life, and each of us has the opportunity to blame our actions on those events, or rise above them.
The system locked you up? No, you were convicted of committing a crime and lock up was your sentence. Jail did not mess up your life, jail was a temporary reprieve from your life. You, and only you, are responsible for your behaviour. You can blame the rest of the world for your problems, or you can accept that some bad stuff in your life caused you to make some bad decisions. But the decisions you made were made by YOU.
Nobody woke up one day and said to themselves: It's my goal to ruin this person's life.
If you act like a victim, you are a victim. Take charge of your own life.
yep... probably... now eff them back, and be successful. it's what they don't want. societies need the down trodden. they work for cheap and don't fight back. societies need slave labor. the system is set up to make sure there is a steady flow of voluntary slaves. it really is an economic fact. economy's need an unemployment rate of at least 4.5%. Conservatives want that higher. If you think the system ****** you, it probably did. now **** it back... don't be the meek unobtrusive slave.
Hi!
It is like sitting in a rocking chair. it takes you nowhere.
take a pillow cover and bundle up all these thoughts and throw it away. start living life
Although some people may not find the most critical answer of themselves as a ';best'; answer, I would suggest you take heart to the answer that came from sheloves_dablues. You can't live your life blaming the system when at the end of the day, you still were convicted of criminal actions. My life sucks from time to time, but I don't commit crimes. I seek help or keep myself preoccupied with positive activities. Your past is just that. Think about the future and while you are at it, actively seek resolutions to that past so you can forget it and move on with that future that is so much more important than your past. Those who live in the past cannot progress into the future, they remain stuck. By becoming better in your present, eventually, someone in your future will see that, so your employment opportunities will only become better so long as you actively pursue the betterment of yourself.
You knew better..ultimately you and only you are responsible for the choices you make in your life....learn from your mistakes...when you have learned from your mistakes..those mistakes become lessons.I read your question and you are no dummy.So stop playing the victim ...step up to the plate and own your life and make yourself proud.
good now you relise all that so will come in life.move from where ever you r now.start a new life.enjoy your life forget about the past.we are all there for you.no pont in thinking about what has happened now think what to do next.all the best .
you have 2 choices negative or positive and ask yourself what i am doing does it make me happy ? live and think NOW
Satan is working OVERTIME on your head!
You HAVE to have FORGIVENESS in your heart for the ones you think have wronged you.
YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!!
Or satan would NOT bug you like that!
He probably knows something GOOD is about to happen TO you--or FOR you!
Tell satan to SHUT UP and leave you alone in the name of Jesus Christ and he WILL!long hair styles loan
when i think about how i was abused, traumatised, victimized, bullied growing up at the hands of others around me...then because of all this i got mental health problems....
then i went off the rails then and committed a crime got in with the wrong crowd...then the system locked me up, put me through the psychiatric system and the jail system..messing my life up , giving me unwanted labels %26amp; a crim record i never wanted...which will in turn in the present effect me trying to achieve my goals %26amp; aspirations...employment oppurtunities..emmigration oppurtunities ( because that is my number 1 ambition, to move away from the uk)~
and originally all this wasnt my fault, i was a product of my environment..
so can anyone understand that at the age of 30 now i feel people, society ,the system,or whatever has ruined my life on purpous?
i have bpd to,i feel theyve brandished me now %26amp; im ruinedWhat does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?
you have today to start over.
get past the blame thing and own your life.
if you made bad choices, so be it. we all screw up.
no one is ';out to get you';.
you are in control to make your future what you want it to be.
bpd2What does it mean when you have persistant thoughts, ideas that people, the system have ruined your life?
Its easy to blame others, but you will not succeed until you take responsibility for your own life. I know its tough when your upbringing has been bad and when you have made mistakes but you must put that behind you, grab life with both hands and make of it what you want. Make sure that your bi polar is being treated properly, once that is under control you will feel better. There is no concerted effort by people or institutions to spoil your life, but there are plenty of organisations that will want to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Look at the Princes Trust, they help people like yourself who have a desire to improve their own lot in life. Work at it, you can succeed. You are not ruined!
It sounds to me like you've had a lot of bad experiences and have made a lot of bad choices. The only way for you to fix your life is to take responsibility for it. The more you blame everyone else, the less you are doing to make it more positive. You don't have a criminal record you never wanted, you have a criminal record you earned by performing criminal acts. Take responsibility.
Be thankful for what you DO have and focus on that.
Thank goodness you found out so early about BPD. My husband was ill all his life, and didn't KNOW what was the matter. He drank, to feel better and made it worse. He was 62 before he figured out what was wrong and got on meds. He takes them like communion now, every day.
If you are not seeing a mental health professional, and taking your meds like religion, start right now.
My son is paranoid schizophrenic and has been through what you are describing. He just got out of one year in jail for assault.
Someone loves you, somewhere. I won't believe that anyone ruined your life on purpose.
You are acting like a victim, and so everything that happens you see as a victim. You have to TURN that around yourself. Try to assume that other people don't even notice you! Try to assume they are busy with their own lives and mean you no harm. They are just clueless to your situation.
Try to forgive them and you and move forward. Every day, try to make some progress. Make a few calls, go to the library and do some research. Write down ideas you have to get out of UK.
At some point, even people with BPD have to be responsible for what happens NOW! You know you have to be on meds and talking to a counsellor. YOu know you have to be sober. You know you need to reach out to people who care about you, and tell them you are ok, and taking steps to get better.
You know these things to be true, and if you do not do them, you are going to continue your downward spiral. You will get sicker and sicker. Help is on the way, but you have to reach out.
Anyone with BPD should be able to get on disability and make a paycheck. Make some calls to local mental health office and ASK them what can be done to help you. You may have to go in and fill out papers or go to an interview. Whatever it is, DO IT!
Please understand that you have been given this strange illness,and that is one fact you know.
You can let it kick your butt, and make you a mess and ruin your life, or you can CHOOSE to take action to control your symptoms. YOU can decide. There is power in accepting that .
Get in any sort of talk group you can, to help you with these feelings of victimhood, and being helpless. They are just feelings. You don't have to let them be ALL you are.
Please take care of yourself and call your mother.
Good luck.
you need to move on, forgive and forget and take the good out of all your experiences and life lessons, they were your choices, learn from them and let it go.
The fact that you recognize all this is a great start toward changing your life! In some ways, all of us are victims of society... but some even more than others, unfortunately. There is so much wrong with the world and the way things are operating right now, and we feel so helpless to do anything about it sometimes. But what you can do is put those feelings to good use... to change your life, to do what you can, to fight for justice and speak out about your experiences and what you see is going wrong. It's horrible what has happened to you, and it's unfair... but perhaps it has made you stronger and given you wisdom that you can share with this world.
You're not ruined at all... only if you let yourself believe that. You've survived, and you can make a fresh start now. The thoughts in your own mind are what really affects things, so don't you believe that you're ruined! You really aren't... you're still alive, and it's a new day.
I hope you can get back up on your feet and fight the good fight, and share what you've learned with the rest of us, and others who may be going through similar problems in life. You may be able to help many others because of what you've experienced and learned.
paranoid schizophrenia or post traumatic stress disorder. because you are bipolar, you may feel this way from time to time. You definately need to talk to a counselor. Try to stay away from antidepressants or antipsychoic medication unless you feel you are a danger to yourself or other people.
you have my full empathy, I fel so sad reading your posts becos you remind me so much of my own similiar problems or problems I had in the past...life is tough sometimes but we get tougher..
it's the system that labels %26amp; puts somewhat innocent people(becos they're the easy ones to catch) %26amp; the real criminals, who ruin people's lives %26amp; psychologically damage %26amp; abuse us, get away with murder..
it doesn't matter what people think, who gives a rat's *** about these people? they don't care about us %26amp; they certainly don't want the best for us, so why should we worry what they think? it's none of our business anyways what they tink...
what is important is what you think about yourself %26amp; what is the TRUTH...you know in truth you;re a good person %26amp; no-one can change that but yourself...the truth always comes out, rmemebr always, so don't worry about a bunch of ignorant people judging you, if we had to judge them, I'm sure we'd find lots of things...
if you can belive what you think about yourself is more imprtant than what others think (%26amp; it is much more important), then you'll win...
look at everything that has happened (%26amp; everything that does happen to you in life) to teach you sth, always ask, what is the lesson here? I know that is difficult sometimes becos we can't always find the answer, but once you ask the question, the answers will come to you...
in my (humble)opinion, this is life teaching you to become stronger, once you become stronger, these things will stop or go away for good...
be strong...
God bless you...
PS%26gt; please feel free to email me anytime if you need to chat.u'll always have a friend in me...
Society controls us all. I can buy a piece of ground, thirty to forty acres. I want to build houses on it, I can not build a house on a three hundred by four hundred foot lots. I have to build on three to five acre plots. Rules and laws are what we live by, if you don't like them it is up to you to change them. I stand and rail against a wall but that wall will not move or fall, it only angers others and makes me feel bad. I don't like that!!!
see a doctor
sounds like you did it to yourself (i dont mean to be blunt)
yeah its a shame that someone abused you and all but you are a product of yourself not a product of your surroundings, you have complete control over what happens to you in your furture. Yes you are 30 but if you live to 100 thats 70 years to make a difference.
take control of yourself and your life and make that difference. I wish you luck.
I suggest that you begin therapy with someone that you feel comfortable and specializes in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder so that these events do not need to continue to dominate your life.
Go get some counselling.I had a terrible upbringing,but fortunately never resorted to crime.U need help to deal with the issues that made you who you are.Once you learn from these,u can start to enjoy your life again.U can get meds for BPD,see your doctor.I sincerely hope you get ur life back on track.We can all change hun,but it takes courage too. :)
A teacher is a very noble profession. A mentor is also a teacher and is more than just a teacher too.
A mentor is someone that has failed. A mentor is someone that has made bad choices, hurt others, and been at the bottom. The mentor will make it his or her goal to be a positive example to another person. They are this positive example by sharing where he or she went wrong and the consequences of their bad choices. Then the mentor will do their best to steer another person away from the direction they went and help them take the first step toward bettering their lives.
I suggest you get involved in a Church or volunteer group that offers those such as yourself to work in the community to make it better.
Forgivness is free but trust has to be earned. I would do my best to be a good and dependable employee even if the job ';sucks.'; Then I would be dependable and honest with those I am friends with and with the groups I volunteer with.
There is always a need in every community. But remember it takes time to build healthy relationships with our community, Church, friends, employers, and our families. Folks need to see evidence and this is up to us to provide it.
Remember not everyone will be willing to be your friend and some will be sort of supicious and even scared to. This is where you must have the confidence in yourself to do your best.
Start in your home. Then in a church or group. Then on your job. Be consistent. It is not easy and often discouraging. But when the time comes where you made a difference in someone else's life by taking your failures and offering a way of success in some other person's life the reward you have in your heart is worth more than what money could ever buy.
It takes time, persistence, dedication, patience, and forgivness.
IT's called paranoia and failing to accept responbility for your actions. You don't have a corner on the grief market, buddy. If you think that you're the only one out there who got some bad breaks early in life you are wrong. Tragic events ARE life, and each of us has the opportunity to blame our actions on those events, or rise above them.
The system locked you up? No, you were convicted of committing a crime and lock up was your sentence. Jail did not mess up your life, jail was a temporary reprieve from your life. You, and only you, are responsible for your behaviour. You can blame the rest of the world for your problems, or you can accept that some bad stuff in your life caused you to make some bad decisions. But the decisions you made were made by YOU.
Nobody woke up one day and said to themselves: It's my goal to ruin this person's life.
If you act like a victim, you are a victim. Take charge of your own life.
yep... probably... now eff them back, and be successful. it's what they don't want. societies need the down trodden. they work for cheap and don't fight back. societies need slave labor. the system is set up to make sure there is a steady flow of voluntary slaves. it really is an economic fact. economy's need an unemployment rate of at least 4.5%. Conservatives want that higher. If you think the system ****** you, it probably did. now **** it back... don't be the meek unobtrusive slave.
Hi!
It is like sitting in a rocking chair. it takes you nowhere.
take a pillow cover and bundle up all these thoughts and throw it away. start living life
Although some people may not find the most critical answer of themselves as a ';best'; answer, I would suggest you take heart to the answer that came from sheloves_dablues. You can't live your life blaming the system when at the end of the day, you still were convicted of criminal actions. My life sucks from time to time, but I don't commit crimes. I seek help or keep myself preoccupied with positive activities. Your past is just that. Think about the future and while you are at it, actively seek resolutions to that past so you can forget it and move on with that future that is so much more important than your past. Those who live in the past cannot progress into the future, they remain stuck. By becoming better in your present, eventually, someone in your future will see that, so your employment opportunities will only become better so long as you actively pursue the betterment of yourself.
You knew better..ultimately you and only you are responsible for the choices you make in your life....learn from your mistakes...when you have learned from your mistakes..those mistakes become lessons.I read your question and you are no dummy.So stop playing the victim ...step up to the plate and own your life and make yourself proud.
good now you relise all that so will come in life.move from where ever you r now.start a new life.enjoy your life forget about the past.we are all there for you.no pont in thinking about what has happened now think what to do next.all the best .
you have 2 choices negative or positive and ask yourself what i am doing does it make me happy ? live and think NOW
Satan is working OVERTIME on your head!
You HAVE to have FORGIVENESS in your heart for the ones you think have wronged you.
YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!!
Or satan would NOT bug you like that!
He probably knows something GOOD is about to happen TO you--or FOR you!
Tell satan to SHUT UP and leave you alone in the name of Jesus Christ and he WILL!
How do you go on after you lost the love of your life?
I spent 13yrs with my husband. We have 3 children together and he recently abandoned me and the children. My mind is ready to move on but it is my heart that can't let go. Anyone have advice on the process of letting go or how you went on?How do you go on after you lost the love of your life?
13 years is an awfully long time. healing process will also take time. Do not force yourself to move on when your not ready. Sleepless nites, crying yourself to sleep and expressing anger are outlet and means for you to cope with whatever you are going through now. Take things one step at a time. .. it would help if you can focus some of your energy in achieving things you havent been able to do when you were with him. trying jutting them down and make a plan how to achieve them... Given the 3 children i would like to suggest if you may please.. to focus on working hard to provide for them there's no better way to deal with a loss than being independent fianancially and working hard and being successful in your career. This will help boost your morale and slef esteem.
Try not to hurry in falling in love again. make sure you get the right decisions since there are 3 kids you need to look after to... Lastly pray it helped mego through my trying times, I hope it helps you too. Good luck!How do you go on after you lost the love of your life?
That is a hurtful situation. You have invested alot in that
relationship. And it will take alot of time to get him out
of your system. Lots of memories.....so just make some
new ones. Yes, your head says, forget about him. But
your heart won't let go. It's all time.......darlin. If you had
ice in your veins, you wouldn't be capable of giving love.
But, you know you can love,...and you can love again, when
your ready. It's so hard....I feel for you, I am going thru it now.
Be strong....hold your head up. And it's ok to keep crying
till you don't cry anymore. That day will come, when you
won't have those strong feelings for him anymore, you will
be angry or indifferent. Date often....it takes your mind off
of him...temp...but you'll feel better . One day at a time......
at least now you should take some advice even from your ex husband , he must be enjoying his life so what you are waiting for go ahead and try some one who will take care of you or you said that you have three kids the enjoy yoour time with them
i dont know if it will help but once i neede to get something off of my mind i got a job that kept me really busy to where i dident think about my problems so much on top of that find a new hang out spot somewhere you 2 never went like a pub, a coffee spot make it somewhere other people hang out like the local cafe where you can talk to other people date someone new remember the old saying time is a healer and what dont kill you makes you stronger
Your heart will probably never totally let go, nor should it have to. You gave this man 13 years of your life and a large part of your heart. You need to take time out to heal and grieve. Take time to focus on your kids. Take time out for yourself... go out with friends, take an exercise or yoga class, find things you enjoy. Most importantly you need to get to know yourself again. You were a part of a couple for 13 years, and now you need to get to know who you are without him.... Join a support group (you can call a church or clinic in your area to try to find one)... You do not need to jump into another relationship right away. Once you have taken time to get to know and like yourself again, then you can start dating again.... look forward to a new chapter in your life's book!
You have to forget about the past and think about the future. The last thing your kids need is a mother who is an emotional basket case.Times does indeed heal all wounds, so give it time.
a lot of us have been in ur shoes.. and u have to learn to survive..
u have to push forward for ur children..
it is hard...
stay busy.. and don't think about him..
ur heart may always stay with him.. mine still stays with my love after 27 yrs..
but it was very toxic.. as much as i loved him.. i was not Happy..
Get a piece of paper. Pick one day when you are alone and undistrubed. Think back on your marriage, write down on one side of paper all the good things, on the other side write down all the bad things. See which is most. Then it should be easy to let go.
there is a movie with that lady Roseanne in it where she totally destroys her husband who left her with the kids, girl, go rent that movie =D
getting even will cure your heart
let it go there is a way : imagine him taking shut in middle of the house
Think: you have to be strong for your children's sake, what your husband did to u is not the end of the world, as long as you go on, you still hold the hope to live better, even without him.
I am sorry to hear that, But life goes on You have 3 children who love you, your heart will go on, and your mind will show you who the good one was, I for one say your the good one, just take care of the children because they will be asking alot of question why did daddy leave us. May god bless you and your children.
13 years is an awfully long time. healing process will also take time. Do not force yourself to move on when your not ready. Sleepless nites, crying yourself to sleep and expressing anger are outlet and means for you to cope with whatever you are going through now. Take things one step at a time. .. it would help if you can focus some of your energy in achieving things you havent been able to do when you were with him. trying jutting them down and make a plan how to achieve them... Given the 3 children i would like to suggest if you may please.. to focus on working hard to provide for them there's no better way to deal with a loss than being independent fianancially and working hard and being successful in your career. This will help boost your morale and slef esteem.
Try not to hurry in falling in love again. make sure you get the right decisions since there are 3 kids you need to look after to... Lastly pray it helped mego through my trying times, I hope it helps you too. Good luck!How do you go on after you lost the love of your life?
That is a hurtful situation. You have invested alot in that
relationship. And it will take alot of time to get him out
of your system. Lots of memories.....so just make some
new ones. Yes, your head says, forget about him. But
your heart won't let go. It's all time.......darlin. If you had
ice in your veins, you wouldn't be capable of giving love.
But, you know you can love,...and you can love again, when
your ready. It's so hard....I feel for you, I am going thru it now.
Be strong....hold your head up. And it's ok to keep crying
till you don't cry anymore. That day will come, when you
won't have those strong feelings for him anymore, you will
be angry or indifferent. Date often....it takes your mind off
of him...temp...but you'll feel better . One day at a time......
at least now you should take some advice even from your ex husband , he must be enjoying his life so what you are waiting for go ahead and try some one who will take care of you or you said that you have three kids the enjoy yoour time with them
i dont know if it will help but once i neede to get something off of my mind i got a job that kept me really busy to where i dident think about my problems so much on top of that find a new hang out spot somewhere you 2 never went like a pub, a coffee spot make it somewhere other people hang out like the local cafe where you can talk to other people date someone new remember the old saying time is a healer and what dont kill you makes you stronger
Your heart will probably never totally let go, nor should it have to. You gave this man 13 years of your life and a large part of your heart. You need to take time out to heal and grieve. Take time to focus on your kids. Take time out for yourself... go out with friends, take an exercise or yoga class, find things you enjoy. Most importantly you need to get to know yourself again. You were a part of a couple for 13 years, and now you need to get to know who you are without him.... Join a support group (you can call a church or clinic in your area to try to find one)... You do not need to jump into another relationship right away. Once you have taken time to get to know and like yourself again, then you can start dating again.... look forward to a new chapter in your life's book!
You have to forget about the past and think about the future. The last thing your kids need is a mother who is an emotional basket case.Times does indeed heal all wounds, so give it time.
a lot of us have been in ur shoes.. and u have to learn to survive..
u have to push forward for ur children..
it is hard...
stay busy.. and don't think about him..
ur heart may always stay with him.. mine still stays with my love after 27 yrs..
but it was very toxic.. as much as i loved him.. i was not Happy..
Get a piece of paper. Pick one day when you are alone and undistrubed. Think back on your marriage, write down on one side of paper all the good things, on the other side write down all the bad things. See which is most. Then it should be easy to let go.
there is a movie with that lady Roseanne in it where she totally destroys her husband who left her with the kids, girl, go rent that movie =D
getting even will cure your heart
let it go there is a way : imagine him taking shut in middle of the house
Think: you have to be strong for your children's sake, what your husband did to u is not the end of the world, as long as you go on, you still hold the hope to live better, even without him.
I am sorry to hear that, But life goes on You have 3 children who love you, your heart will go on, and your mind will show you who the good one was, I for one say your the good one, just take care of the children because they will be asking alot of question why did daddy leave us. May god bless you and your children.
How to keep living your life after your (ex)first love has completely moved on?
I am 23. I've never been through this kind of heartbreak for it was myself who burned myself. i took things for granted with someone I loved very much. He was my first true love, first boyfriend, we traveled, everyone thought we were meant to be, and me realize we were supposed to be but I messed things being so vulnerable, jealous, losing him for good. Now he's truly happy with his girlfriend and find it hard to be happy for him at time. After an almost good and bad past 5 years with this ex, he completely moved on when i said I wouldn't talk to him ever again and don't blame him. He deserves to be happy. Never did I think my shortcomings would hit me as karma this bad. I am trying to move on after 1 year he's been with this girl,though of course, I still think of him each day.
I recently deleted my myspace for 2 reasons. I hardly go on there and got bored with it, and 2nd, everytime I do, I tempt myself to look at his new girlfriend's page andjust always see a picture of him and her. I usedto cry so hard seeing them together but for the past months, I just got tired of seeing what I already know is going to be there. I already keep in contact with my closest friends and see them all the time and they are the only ones I really talk to on there, so I didn't lose that contact on my end. I just know this is going to help so I don't have to tease myself to keep looking. I know I sound very immature at my age, but it's just something I had to do for myself. God knows I tempt and tease myself everytime, and I just want to correct that on my own part now.
I feel fine without my myspace account, I have all the friends I want in my life and happy and very grateful for that. And I know it is going to help me get over my ex and checking up on our mutual friends' pages or girlfriend's page and seeing a picture of them. I don't want to be miserable anymore and disappoint myself. I want to see the change for myself. I don't want this to come back at me as running away and not being able to face their picture together. I've seen too many that I got tired of seeing them together. Did I do a right thing?How to keep living your life after your (ex)first love has completely moved on?
Yes you did do the right thing......It's hard, I know...the best thing you can do is to try to forget about him.....keep really busy and when I mean really busy I mean do things you are gonna think about for long periods of time........sounds like you are happy with what you do have which is good friends and you are still young.....remember he is happy and it looks so pitiful to him to see that you haven't moved on......that really can be unattractive in so many ways.......don't lose your mind and go party animal....just be subtle and always put on a happy face....cause for real that can help you get out of this..... awww hugs....NissaHow to keep living your life after your (ex)first love has completely moved on?
people dont want to answer a veryyyyyyyyy long question for 2 points!!
make it breifer!
First thing is first, be strong. Then, forgive your self for your mistakes. Its very difficult but you need to date other men and if he has moved on then its time that you date. Be positive and happy. Their is someone out there for you and he will come, just be patient and everything will be ok. Try to keep yourself occupied so that you wont keep thinking of him. If your ex was not meant for you then you will find your true love soon.
You never have to feel uncomfortable seeing your ex and his new girlfriend. The best thing to do is to have closer. If you have anything of his, put it in a box and bring it to his house. Ask for any of your things he may have back. After that, try to talk to new people. You could try finding another guy and become good friends with him. If you date new people, you may forget all about your ex. If that doesn't work, tell him how you feel and tell him you want to still be friends. Make sure you clerify that you know he's happy with his new girlfriend, and you understand you can't be anything more. In time your heart will heal and you'll find a new love.
I recently deleted my myspace for 2 reasons. I hardly go on there and got bored with it, and 2nd, everytime I do, I tempt myself to look at his new girlfriend's page andjust always see a picture of him and her. I usedto cry so hard seeing them together but for the past months, I just got tired of seeing what I already know is going to be there. I already keep in contact with my closest friends and see them all the time and they are the only ones I really talk to on there, so I didn't lose that contact on my end. I just know this is going to help so I don't have to tease myself to keep looking. I know I sound very immature at my age, but it's just something I had to do for myself. God knows I tempt and tease myself everytime, and I just want to correct that on my own part now.
I feel fine without my myspace account, I have all the friends I want in my life and happy and very grateful for that. And I know it is going to help me get over my ex and checking up on our mutual friends' pages or girlfriend's page and seeing a picture of them. I don't want to be miserable anymore and disappoint myself. I want to see the change for myself. I don't want this to come back at me as running away and not being able to face their picture together. I've seen too many that I got tired of seeing them together. Did I do a right thing?How to keep living your life after your (ex)first love has completely moved on?
Yes you did do the right thing......It's hard, I know...the best thing you can do is to try to forget about him.....keep really busy and when I mean really busy I mean do things you are gonna think about for long periods of time........sounds like you are happy with what you do have which is good friends and you are still young.....remember he is happy and it looks so pitiful to him to see that you haven't moved on......that really can be unattractive in so many ways.......don't lose your mind and go party animal....just be subtle and always put on a happy face....cause for real that can help you get out of this..... awww hugs....NissaHow to keep living your life after your (ex)first love has completely moved on?
people dont want to answer a veryyyyyyyyy long question for 2 points!!
make it breifer!
First thing is first, be strong. Then, forgive your self for your mistakes. Its very difficult but you need to date other men and if he has moved on then its time that you date. Be positive and happy. Their is someone out there for you and he will come, just be patient and everything will be ok. Try to keep yourself occupied so that you wont keep thinking of him. If your ex was not meant for you then you will find your true love soon.
You never have to feel uncomfortable seeing your ex and his new girlfriend. The best thing to do is to have closer. If you have anything of his, put it in a box and bring it to his house. Ask for any of your things he may have back. After that, try to talk to new people. You could try finding another guy and become good friends with him. If you date new people, you may forget all about your ex. If that doesn't work, tell him how you feel and tell him you want to still be friends. Make sure you clerify that you know he's happy with his new girlfriend, and you understand you can't be anything more. In time your heart will heal and you'll find a new love.
Have you ever got to the point in your life where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired?
I have come to realize that no matter what my exhusband did to me that I need to keep going on in my life. Its been very draining to waist my time hating him. And its not like he does not deserve it. But I deserve to be happy and I did not realize how unhappy I was until I sat down and had a talk with my grandmother. We were mainly talking about me wanting to get a late term abortion. And she told me that there is a reason why I didn't get one already or else I would have done so. She told me God doesn't make mistakes and I should let my baby live and move on with my life and keep my exhusband out of it. To be honest I thought I was and she said to me, no you're not child, you are letting him determine the fate of your child. That man must have had a lot of power over to come in between you and your baby.
I even told her that its his baby too. But she said he does not have to know that, when you divorced him you were through with him and he was through with you. So why can't you let it be done? I hate to admit it but she was right.Have you ever got to the point in your life where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired?
You have a right to live your life %26amp; be happy.
My advise. Sit down by yourself %26amp; figure out, honestly, what it is you want from your life. Then make plans to achieve that, whatever it is.
And once you've made your decisions about your life--don't ever look back. When I was younger I used to 2nd-guess every decision I made. It drove me crazy to the point at which I wouldn't make any decisions at all.
And learn to forgive. Start by forgiving yourself for whatever bad things you've done %26amp; thought in your life. Only then can you begin to forgive others.
Take care.Have you ever got to the point in your life where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Congratulations... on breaking free from a bad relationship, on the new baby, and coming to realize that its time for a change.
It sounds like you are ready to turn the page on a difficult chapter in your life. You're about to start an entire new part of your life. Now is the time to focus on you, and your baby, and take time to realize all of your goals and desires. This is the begining to an exciting new journey! You have a new-found freedom and a baby on the way! Go back to school for something you want to do, or take up a new hobby like dance or painting, spend time with family and friends (they will be an invaluable source of support), and just enjoy this time preparing for the birth of your child! Try to keep stres--free, as this is best for you AND baby. Smile! There are exciting things ahead for you!
Been there for along time now how it is to sleep 4 hours a day because you where so excited about the next day.I have seen people in you shoes ,thats a tough call.Dont let fairy tales get in the way of you life .If you feel you need to go on in life and forget this guy go on .You can stick it to him by making him pay child support but you may have to see his face all your life of and on for child visits.
lol Yeah, at some point you just kinda blow a fuse where not much fazes you anymore. You dissconnect and shut down emotionally. It takes something drastically good to happen like finding a soul-mate or something to bring you back from your slumber of numbness.
Consult a divorce lawyer. He will tell you what a slam dunk winning is with the help of DV industry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7R鈥?/a>
There is nothing wrong with being sick %26amp; tired of being sick %26amp; tired. It's just goes to show how much a person can and is willing to tolerate. I just believe it's a clear indicator that it's time for a change and now you are ready.
EDIT: Your Granny sounds like a wise woman, listen to her.
I even told her that its his baby too. But she said he does not have to know that, when you divorced him you were through with him and he was through with you. So why can't you let it be done? I hate to admit it but she was right.Have you ever got to the point in your life where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired?
You have a right to live your life %26amp; be happy.
My advise. Sit down by yourself %26amp; figure out, honestly, what it is you want from your life. Then make plans to achieve that, whatever it is.
And once you've made your decisions about your life--don't ever look back. When I was younger I used to 2nd-guess every decision I made. It drove me crazy to the point at which I wouldn't make any decisions at all.
And learn to forgive. Start by forgiving yourself for whatever bad things you've done %26amp; thought in your life. Only then can you begin to forgive others.
Take care.Have you ever got to the point in your life where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Congratulations... on breaking free from a bad relationship, on the new baby, and coming to realize that its time for a change.
It sounds like you are ready to turn the page on a difficult chapter in your life. You're about to start an entire new part of your life. Now is the time to focus on you, and your baby, and take time to realize all of your goals and desires. This is the begining to an exciting new journey! You have a new-found freedom and a baby on the way! Go back to school for something you want to do, or take up a new hobby like dance or painting, spend time with family and friends (they will be an invaluable source of support), and just enjoy this time preparing for the birth of your child! Try to keep stres--free, as this is best for you AND baby. Smile! There are exciting things ahead for you!
Been there for along time now how it is to sleep 4 hours a day because you where so excited about the next day.I have seen people in you shoes ,thats a tough call.Dont let fairy tales get in the way of you life .If you feel you need to go on in life and forget this guy go on .You can stick it to him by making him pay child support but you may have to see his face all your life of and on for child visits.
lol Yeah, at some point you just kinda blow a fuse where not much fazes you anymore. You dissconnect and shut down emotionally. It takes something drastically good to happen like finding a soul-mate or something to bring you back from your slumber of numbness.
Consult a divorce lawyer. He will tell you what a slam dunk winning is with the help of DV industry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wS5xOZ7R鈥?/a>
There is nothing wrong with being sick %26amp; tired of being sick %26amp; tired. It's just goes to show how much a person can and is willing to tolerate. I just believe it's a clear indicator that it's time for a change and now you are ready.
EDIT: Your Granny sounds like a wise woman, listen to her.
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